Laugh a little, I dont mind!
Ill be quick with this one!
I got my car fixed (yay me!) Went to spend the night at a friends house, hanging and shit. Around 11pm my car alarm starts going off, so the voice in my head is like "wtf somebody trying to steal the Mercedes?!" (yes i drive a neon). Anyways, I go outside and nothing suspect is going on so I turn it off. Here's the thing about this alarm i don't even have a remote to boopboop it to shut it off. So when ever it comes time to shut it off i have to physically walk to where ever my car is and put the key in the door(stooooo-ped right?). The alarm stops, I go back in the apartment, and this bitch goes off again like 20 minutes later and every 20 minutes after every damn 20 minutes. I sober up and get smart like "dude read the manual on how to deactivate it". Now I'm outside reading in the dark cause my inside lights don't work, typical (evidently i didn't sober up enough). I figure it out and it basically said I have to physically go around and lock each door or just leave my car unlocked. What the hell type of options is that? *wack* I go around and lock them and go inside. Now everyones high and going to sleep and 40 minutes pass and no alarm going off I'm like "word I did it".
I found a movie on HBO and I fell asleep with the remote in my hand. I don't know how much longer later my friend comes out her room like "Donkey?!" (that's what she calls me, its a long story) immediately when i heard her voice i heard the alarm going off too, so I knew she was waking me up about that. I open my eyes and low and behold theres full blow porn on the TV 2 chicks and a dude getting it on. Now the sound from the TV being semi loud is kicking in my senses and I'm like "I swear to God I'm not watching this!!!" as i frantically try to change the channel and turn the volume down. I go outside to my car cussing up a storm again, because I know her neighbors are tired of this shit too. I just leave the doors unlock. I go inside and TURN THE TV OFF actually I ain't gonna lie I did go back n peep but it was wack and a weird feeling like "really are u about to watch this?" (I'm retarded)I shut it off and go to bed. The next morning my friend totally calls me out on the porn shit she said, "you were like the little kid who got caught jacking off to some porn, you know u was watching that shit, don't lie!" I started laughing my ass off and had to explain the situation properly to her husband cause he was like "whaaaaat Donkey was watching porn?". We were probably laughing for like 20 minutes, straight cracking jokes. And then my alarm goes off, and I yelled out SON OF A BITCH!
I hope you enjoyed this little piece of my life ;) feel free to laugh your ass off!
P.S. The car alarm still goes off ;-/
~ciao.bless~
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Saturday, August 6, 2011
The loneliness!
I feel abandoned.
In this very moment I feel as though all my friends have forsaken me. Every time they call me to keep them company I'm always jumping up to go see them. No one comes to see me and that hurts. Maybe I'm just not as cool as I thought I was. Here's what irks me too, I have to hear through other people about a project my friends are doing, so clearly if they didn't come to me and ask me then that means they don't want me to be a part of it right? Maybe they see I have nothing to offer and I would waste their time. People say I'm creative all the time and when they are doing creative things they don't want me a part of it. They say they love my band but when they put on shows they don't book us. They say I'm so fun to be around but they don't want to hang out with me. I don't get this bullshit.
Here's the thing and now I'm about to sound a little racist and believe me Im not but this is just how I feel sometimes because of what Ive seen, and this is my life so calm down. When I first moved here I was meeting people and trying to find my niche. I'm all about indie, retro, punk, funk, rock everything and I go to these places where the majority of the people are white. I start conversations trying to be social and I didn't get the time of day from so many people. So I'm like "WTF I'M THE SHIT BITCH, YOU'LL SEE!" I finally meet this white girl that I like hanging with and the same people that wouldn't give me the time of day are talking to me now. I bet you if I didn't have a white friend by my side going out nobody would give me the time of day. I don't even know why its so hard to have black friends down here in Florida. Maybe I'm too white for the blacks and to black for the whites and the fact that I'm a plus size chick with dreads and I dress weirdly nice, I get judged instantly and nobody really knows how to read me.
I could be wrong...
Let check this scenerio...I met this couple they're white with dreads and we hang out on occasions only when I'm with my white home girl. So they came to my house yesterday and pick up my roomie who is a white girl with dreads to go spend the day together. Now we all know each other and everyone has the day off and we're supposedly "friends" no one said "hey wat are you doing? you wanna hangout?" They just left. They didnt want to hang with me, point taken. So how am I suppose to feel about that? your answer goes here->
Exactly....This is how I see it, either you don't want to hang with me because you don't like me or you don't want to hang with me because you don't like me. Simple.
Here's another situation for ya...Places I tell my friends I want to go, they go with other people and they have the nerves to be all excited and rubbing in my face about we went this place and that place and did all this and that. Here it comes "Oh i forgot you said you wanted to go there." NO BITCH I GAVE YOU THE IDEA HOE! Sorry I just get mad at bullshit situations...I love my friends sometime I just gotta get gangsta, not all the time.
One more thing that bothers me is when your "friend" is having a party and your other friend tells you your friend that you hang with and talk to ALL the time is having a party, doesn't that mean you weren't invited? Why do I always have to be the one not asked directly? There's clearly something I lack that's why these people don't want to be around me.
I miss home!
I may be stuck in between 2 worlds but the feeling of loneliness is the same where ever the I choose to stay or not stay.
I don't get it!
~ciao.bless~
In this very moment I feel as though all my friends have forsaken me. Every time they call me to keep them company I'm always jumping up to go see them. No one comes to see me and that hurts. Maybe I'm just not as cool as I thought I was. Here's what irks me too, I have to hear through other people about a project my friends are doing, so clearly if they didn't come to me and ask me then that means they don't want me to be a part of it right? Maybe they see I have nothing to offer and I would waste their time. People say I'm creative all the time and when they are doing creative things they don't want me a part of it. They say they love my band but when they put on shows they don't book us. They say I'm so fun to be around but they don't want to hang out with me. I don't get this bullshit.
Here's the thing and now I'm about to sound a little racist and believe me Im not but this is just how I feel sometimes because of what Ive seen, and this is my life so calm down. When I first moved here I was meeting people and trying to find my niche. I'm all about indie, retro, punk, funk, rock everything and I go to these places where the majority of the people are white. I start conversations trying to be social and I didn't get the time of day from so many people. So I'm like "WTF I'M THE SHIT BITCH, YOU'LL SEE!" I finally meet this white girl that I like hanging with and the same people that wouldn't give me the time of day are talking to me now. I bet you if I didn't have a white friend by my side going out nobody would give me the time of day. I don't even know why its so hard to have black friends down here in Florida. Maybe I'm too white for the blacks and to black for the whites and the fact that I'm a plus size chick with dreads and I dress weirdly nice, I get judged instantly and nobody really knows how to read me.
I could be wrong...
Let check this scenerio...I met this couple they're white with dreads and we hang out on occasions only when I'm with my white home girl. So they came to my house yesterday and pick up my roomie who is a white girl with dreads to go spend the day together. Now we all know each other and everyone has the day off and we're supposedly "friends" no one said "hey wat are you doing? you wanna hangout?" They just left. They didnt want to hang with me, point taken. So how am I suppose to feel about that? your answer goes here->
Exactly....This is how I see it, either you don't want to hang with me because you don't like me or you don't want to hang with me because you don't like me. Simple.
Here's another situation for ya...Places I tell my friends I want to go, they go with other people and they have the nerves to be all excited and rubbing in my face about we went this place and that place and did all this and that. Here it comes "Oh i forgot you said you wanted to go there." NO BITCH I GAVE YOU THE IDEA HOE! Sorry I just get mad at bullshit situations...I love my friends sometime I just gotta get gangsta, not all the time.
One more thing that bothers me is when your "friend" is having a party and your other friend tells you your friend that you hang with and talk to ALL the time is having a party, doesn't that mean you weren't invited? Why do I always have to be the one not asked directly? There's clearly something I lack that's why these people don't want to be around me.
I miss home!
I may be stuck in between 2 worlds but the feeling of loneliness is the same where ever the I choose to stay or not stay.
I don't get it!
~ciao.bless~
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Damn! Its been a flipping while!!!
So last time I blogged I lost my job. Still havent found one. My band is doing good, in the middle of recording. I fucked up in school because of car situations and being basically homeless from leaving a hostile environment. I was ready to whope some ass lol. I had to stay with a friend for a month and now I live in a duplex, new roomie, check back in three months and see where we stand (you know how that goes). This AC thing might be a problem, I refuse to be cold, she tripping!
Making Hula Hoops now and learning new tricks check us out at www.happyhulahoops.com Dude I make a sick hoop.
So I bought a car and it was shitty, traded it in for a shitty car still and have payments. That bitch broke down the 2nd week I had it. I should never go car shopping by myself. It has been at my friends house for 4 months and I finally got it towed to my house. Getting parts to fix it tomorrow and the mechanic lives next door so thats a plus. Im excited, I havent been myself without a car and Ive been slacking on the socialite thing okkk!
For the most part my sanity creeps in once in a while, thats nice for it to say hey and then leave me stranded in my insanity. Its all good. I cant wait for this album to get done even though Im having problems recording but thats recording for ya. I just want to be in the studio all day getting it in and doing more just to get it right and move on to the next. Im being patient and not rushing anything and trying not to doubt myself anymore. I broke down last week. After getting dumped by my sex buddy and worrying about the gig I knew I wasnt ready for, then I had all my psychological issues and my house being a mess, stressing over school and the car, and my mom, missing my dad, and hungry...I LOST IT!
Negativity creeped in and the spiritual warfare got physically. Seriously speaking Im dealing with a demon. These scratches on my chest and face validated it for me. Only God can see me out of this one and I wont worry or have fear. My God defeats demons always so itll be easy to whope some ass!
Anyways Im getting tired and I have a long day tomorrow, struggling with the masses of this world. The atmosphere is thick with everything imaginable thats not tangible. Ill tell you about my neighbors next time and whatever adventures I can remember.
~ciao.bless~
Making Hula Hoops now and learning new tricks check us out at www.happyhulahoops.com Dude I make a sick hoop.
So I bought a car and it was shitty, traded it in for a shitty car still and have payments. That bitch broke down the 2nd week I had it. I should never go car shopping by myself. It has been at my friends house for 4 months and I finally got it towed to my house. Getting parts to fix it tomorrow and the mechanic lives next door so thats a plus. Im excited, I havent been myself without a car and Ive been slacking on the socialite thing okkk!
For the most part my sanity creeps in once in a while, thats nice for it to say hey and then leave me stranded in my insanity. Its all good. I cant wait for this album to get done even though Im having problems recording but thats recording for ya. I just want to be in the studio all day getting it in and doing more just to get it right and move on to the next. Im being patient and not rushing anything and trying not to doubt myself anymore. I broke down last week. After getting dumped by my sex buddy and worrying about the gig I knew I wasnt ready for, then I had all my psychological issues and my house being a mess, stressing over school and the car, and my mom, missing my dad, and hungry...I LOST IT!
Negativity creeped in and the spiritual warfare got physically. Seriously speaking Im dealing with a demon. These scratches on my chest and face validated it for me. Only God can see me out of this one and I wont worry or have fear. My God defeats demons always so itll be easy to whope some ass!
Anyways Im getting tired and I have a long day tomorrow, struggling with the masses of this world. The atmosphere is thick with everything imaginable thats not tangible. Ill tell you about my neighbors next time and whatever adventures I can remember.
~ciao.bless~
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