THERAPEUTIC CHAIN OF EVENTS!!!!!!!

ITS A THERAPEUTIC CHAIN OF EVENTS I SAY!!!!


FROM BEING ON TOP TO HITTING THE BOTTOM TO CLIMBING BACK UPPER THE LADDER..EXCITEMENT AND BEREAVEMENT ENGULFS MY SOUL FROM DAY TO DAY.


CONVERSATIONS FROM EVERYONE THAT SURROUNDS ME FROM WHAT I SHOULD DO AND SHOULDN'T DO...UGH!!! JUST SHOOT ME ALREADY...NO ONE KNOW WHATS BEST FOR ME, THEY JUST KNOW WHAT THEY WOULD DO IN MY POSITION WHICH MIGHT NOT WORK OUT FOR ME...IN MOST CASES.


I ENJOY HAVING MY OWN MIND TO SUBJECT MYSELF TO OPINIONS IS NOT A BAD THING AT ALL, BUT I AM CONFIDENT IN MY CHOICES ON LIFE BECAUSE ITS MINE *SMILE*

WELL UNTIL NEXT TIME......LIFE MUST GO ON AND IT SURE WILL, WITH OR WITHOUT ME!!!


~CIAO.BLESS~

You dont love me!!!!

and i know now!!!!

ANTI-SOCIAL???? NOT MUTHERFUCKING ME BITCHES!!!!!

MY WEEKEND WAS FRIKKIN CRAZY.....

OK FRIDAY WENT TO SEE SAW V...IT SUCKED...I WAS PISSED AT MY BFFF SO I HAD TO LEAVE THAT MUTHERFUCKER CAUSE IT WAS JUST THE BEST THING TO DO...

SO I WENT TO GAME NIGHT WHICH I SHOULD HAVE JUST WENT TO FIRST AND NOT WASTE GAS,TIME,AND MONEY AT THE MOVIES.... SO I GOT THERE LATE SO THEY WAS JUST SITTING AROUND TALKING...SO IM READY TO PLAY AND DRINK AND DRINK SOME SOME *SMILE* THEY PLAYED ALREADY AND THEIR DRUNK AND SOME PEOPLE LEFT SO I CALL SOME FRIENDS OVER AND THE PARTY IS BACK ON...

WE PLAYED *TABOO* AND *HAVE YOU EVER?*

I WILL NEVER PLAY HAVE YOU EVER AGAIN...I GOT BENT OFF THAT DAMN GAME AND THEY GUYS WAS JUST TRYING TO GET AT ME (HORNY BASTARDS) ANYWAYS THAT SHIT WAS FUCKING HILARIOUS!!!!!!


THERE WAS THIS MASSIVE DEBATE *ARGUEMENT* LOL ABOUT THE CATEGORY THIS GUY PUT THE FEMALES IN....OK SO WE HAD *WIFEY MATERIAL* *GIRLFRIEND* *JUMPOFF* AND *ONENIGHT STAND*.....THESE BITCHES WENT MUTHERFUCKING WILD WHEN THEY CALLED THEM ONENIGHT STAND OR A JUMPOFF....HA!!! I GOT CALLED A JUMPOFF AND ONENIGHT STAND IT WAS NOTHING....I GOT CALLED WIFEY AND GIRLFRIEND IT WAS NOTHING...THEN IT WAS JUST ON ME AND MY SISTER ARGUING BOUT SUM FUCKERY...THEN WE GANG UP ON EVERYONE ELSE WHEN WE AGREE WITH EACH OTHER...I LOVE IT!!!!!!


OK SATURDAY *HANGOVER*

I FORGOT I HAD TO BE A SOCCER MOM TODAY FOR MY NEPHEW WHICH I DONT MIND ITS QUITE FUN...SO WENT TO PAY MY CAR NOTE WENT TO PLAY SOCCER AND WATCH MY NEPHEW PLAY...I WANTED TO JUMP IN AND JUST BODY SLAM A COUPLE OF THOSE DAMN KIDS...

I FOUND AN AFFORDABLE MUSIC CLASS ACROSS FROM HIS SOCCER BUILDING...I WALKED IN THERE AND I WAS IN HEAVEN...MY MOUTH DROPPED *ORGASMIC*

THE GUITARS WERE GLISTENING LIKE STARS AND THE DRUMS WERE BEATING ON MY HEAR THOSE DAMN PIANOS RAISED CHOPIN(MY FAVE) AND BEETHOVEN FROM THE GRAVE...THE INSTRUCTOR WAS A CUTIE TOO...BUT YES I FELL SOO DEEP IN LOVE!!!

OK LONG STORY SHORT...HA!

WENT TO THIS GUYS HOUSE IN THE NIGHT FOR DRINKS AND MUSIC I WAS BULLIED INTO SINGING SOO I CAVED JUST SOO I CAN STOP BEING BOTHERED...SO I SANG THEN I WAS STILL GETTING BOTHERED WITH THE "OH I DIDNT KNOW YOU COULD SING" "OH THAT WAS SOO GOOD" UGGHHHH!!!!! SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!

ANYWAYS WE WENT TO A SPORTS BAR AFTER..AND WE SET THAT BITCH ON FIRE...TRUE DEFINITION OF *NO ONE ON THE CORNER HAS SWAGGER LIKE US* I FELT LIKE I WAS THE PICKUP ARTIST....WE BLEW THAT JOINT CAUSE I WAS JUST OVER IT...THE GUYS WERE ON US MAN...LIKE "WHERE YALL GOING?" TYPE SHIT...

SO WE ALL ENDED UP PARTYING AT THIS OTHER SPOT *GOLDEN* I HAD 5 BLUE MUTHERFUCKAS, 2 SHOTS OF PATRON AND 2 BEERS AND DANCED AND TALKED THE NIGHT AWAY........MIKE CHECK 1 2 1 2!!!!!


ANTI-SOCIAL??????

NOT MUTHERFUCKING ME BITCHES!!!!!!



~CIAO.BLESS~

*SHRUGGZ*

I realize this morning that my feelings are not heard....

Thats cool...

They say what they want then me but there was no me, i had to let it go....

I see the troubles that lie ahead with this and it scares the shit out of me...but if thats what must happen then soo be...the end of it will appear if we life it or not...i just pray it will be prolonged...


Make sure you're being heard and make sure your actually listening to the other person especially me...please read between the lines if necessary because careless attitudes wont get you too far....


AS I WAIT IT HURTS SOO BAD AND YOU'LL NEVER UNDERSTAND!



~ciao.bless~

*STAMP*

YOU DON'T NEED TO KNOW WHY I LOVE YOU...JUST KNOW THAT I DO!!!!

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN...MIKE CHECK 1 2 , 1 2...

*STAMP*



~CIAO.BLESS~

SCARS!!!

WHO TRULY KNEW??????

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And my scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

Drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
I'm pissed cause you came around
Why don't you just go home
Cause you channel all your pain
And I can't help you fix yourself
You're making me insane
All I can say is

[Chorus:]I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feelI tried to help you once
Against my own adviceI saw you going down
But you never realized
That you're drowning in the water
So I offered you my hand
Compassions in my nature
Tonight is our last stand

[Chorus]I'm drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
You shouldn't ever come around
Why don't you just go home?
Cause you're drowning in the water
And I tried to grab your hand
And I left my heart open
But you didn't understand
But you didn't understand

Go fix yourselfI can't help you fix yourself

But at least I can say I triedI'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life


~PAPA ROACH~

WONDERING!!!

WELL SHIT STINKS...THATS A FACT

I GUESS IM EXPENDABLE TO FOLKS OF A CARELESS MATTER *SIGH*

WHO KNOWS WHAT THE FUTURE HAS IN STORED ALL I KNOW IS THAT COMMUNICATION IS KEY AND WITHOUT IT WE ARE HISTORY...SO LETS SEE EXACTLY WHERE WE GET WITHOUT COMMUNICATION IF THAT IS WHAT HAS BEEN CHOSEN...

WELL SHIT STILL STINKS...THATS STILL A FACT...





~CIAO.BLESS~

Nothing Last Forever...

people try...

but nothing last forever...

I'm good with all the recent events that have taken place in my life...

life's lessons i find quite funny but i travel through having faith in all those who are in my circle of life and myself of course...i cherish good friends and alot of them just dont know how valuable they are and who would lay down their life for a friend...i dont expect anyone to die for me...but yes i would die for my friends...YES I WOULD!!!!!

this morning i had such a weird feeling about something unknown...I'm not too sure but an investigation will be in progress soon...

I'm excited that my last day working will be next Wednesday...and my first day working anew is Thursday...I'm ready for another journey but never the same...

before i started working in the personal care home i was reading this psychology book not knowing that i would actually have to use those same skills read at my job...i find it interesting that i was reading a marketing book not too long ago and now i will be working for a marketing company....God is great in his mysterious way that i adore to the utmost...

trials are in my future i know that much, and I'm ready to kick ass by all means necessary... my life is a roller coaster and i wouldn't have it any other way...

we shall see who is standing when the fog clears....

nothing last forever...but we all wish it did....


~ciao.bless~

A FIGHT TIL AND TO THE DEATH!!!

IM SOO NOT GIVING UP!!!!!

THIS IS SOO FREAKING EXCITING...MY HEART SKIPS BEAT JUST THINKING OF ALL POSSIBILITIES AND HOW THEY WOULD WORK IN MY FAVOR FOR PROSPERITY!!!


FAITH IS GREAT...LETS DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!


~CIAO.BLESS~

THE STUDIO IS CALLING ME!!!!

I HAD A GREAT DREAM LAST NIGHT...THAT I HAD TO PERFORM IN FRONT OF DIDDY AND HE WAS LIKE IN LOVE WITH ME...

NEXT THING I KNOW IM ROCKING OUT IN THE STUDIO TO MY OWN MUSIC...NOT SHIT THAT SOMEONE WROTE AND WAS LIKE "HERE, SING THIS"

MY HARD WORK AND DEDICATION TO MY UNIQUE SOUND PAID OFF....

IT WAS SO GREAT I DIDNT WANT TO WAKE UP...UNTIL IT STARTED GETTING WEIRD WITH DEERS AND GOBLINS AND SHIT...


BUT THE THING IS I NEED TO GET BACK IN THE STUDIO AND DO MY THANG...IVE BEEN THINKING FOR ABOUT A YEAR NOW TO INVOLVE MYSELF WITH A BAND...BUT I KNOW HOW DIFFICULT THAT CAN BE....

BUT GOD KNOWS WHATS BEST FOR HIS CHILD...BUT I LOVE BEING IN A BAND ITS JUST SO MUCH BETTER WHEN ITS POSITIVE....

ALRIGHT LETS GET THIS PARTY STARTED...I WROTE 2 NEW SONGS LAST NIGHT AND I GOTTA TWEAK 3 OF THE OLD ONES AND FINISH UP 2 THAT IS STILL IN MY HEAD....


WORK, WORK, WORK, AND MORE WORK....IM SOO READY


FORWARD STILL...AS SUPERWOMYN!!!!

IN GOD I TRUST....



~CIAO.BLESS~

IM ONLY HUMAN YET A SUPERWOMYN!!!!

THE HEARTACHE AND PAIN OF A HOPELESS ROMANTIC IS UNDEFINED AND THE REST IS STILL UNWRITTEN...

ITS TIME TO GET UP AND GET OUT....

IM GOING TO QUIT MY JOB SOON AND EVEN THOUGH I KNOW A STRUGGLE IS GOING TO CONJURE UP...ILL TAKE THE RISK THATS THE ONLY WAY ILL KNOW HOW FAR I CAN GO...

DROPPING THE EXCESS WEIGHT THAT SURROUNDS ME AND PREPARING FOR MY BRIGHT FUTURE ALONE...


MEMORIES DONT LIVE LIKE PEOPLE DO...THEY ALWAYS REMEMBER YOU...WHETHER THE THINGS ARE GOOD OR BAD...ITS JUST THE MEMORIES THAT WE HAVE...

LETS GET IT DONE BY OUR LONESOME AND IF ANYONE WANTS TO COME ALONG OR JUMP OFF THIS SHIP OF NOVEL-T...DO IT AND TRUST AND BELIEVE IM NOT STOPPING YOU...


FORWARD STILL...AS A SUPERWOMYN!!!!!



~CIAO.BLESS~

I WONT BITCH!!!!

I WONT BITCH TODAY...

AS HARD AS LIFE IS I THANK GOD FOR IT EVERYDAY...

FRIENDSHIP IS FREEDOM AND I CHERISH IT SOO I CHERISH MY FREEDOM...

LIFES TRAGIC AWESOMENESS!!!!!!

THANK YOU GOD FOR EVERYTHING YOU'VE DONE, DOING, AND ABOUT TO DO!!!!

MY NAME IS MY VIRTUE AND GREATNESS IS IN MY PAST, PRESENT, AND FUTURE!!!!!



~CIAO.BLESS~

ANGER...FEAR...STUPIDITY!!!!!

SLOW AGONIZING MORTAL EXISTENCE
DOOMED BY THE STRINGS THAT CONSUME
FLATTENED BY EVERYDAY TURMOIL
JUST TO BE HUNG OVER THE BARBED FENCE
CHANGING TRACKS WITHOUT A LEAD
DAMNED UNDER THE SUN'S PRESSING TONGUE
ANGER TAKES OVER AND CANT BE RELEASED


SARCASM IN A WORD
SISTER PAIN GROWING STRONGER
MIRROR OF MIRROR AND NOT WHAT IS REAL
NO LONGER DO YOU LIVE
NO LONGER DO YOU FEEL
LOCKED IN FEAR'S CHAMBER
DAMPENED,BEATEN,SCARED TO BREAK OUT

TRASH CROWDS THE HEAD
THOUGHT BECOMES CLUTTER
LOSING ALL AND EVERYTHING FED
CONSTANT ANNOYANCE OF WHAT WAS WANTED
AND FAILED
WANTING EASINESS THAT DREAMS MISLEAD
LIKE A BOAT PENETRATING THE OCEAN
BUT WITH LESS A SAIL


ANGER
FEAR
STUPIDITY




~Susie L Kemp~

I AM BETTER THAN GREAT!!!!

THE WORD "CAN'T" WILL NOT BE APART OF MY VOCAB ANYMORE...

IM NOT BETTER THAN THE NEXT BUT IM BETTER THAN GREAT.... AND IF "NEXT" IS GREAT THAN SORRY IM JUST BETTER...GET OVER IT AND MOVE ON!!!

DESTINY IS NOT TO BE FLEXXED WITH....ITS TO BE PLAYED OUT ACCORDINGLY...

LETS DO WHAT WE WANT BUT MORE IMPORTANT LETS DO WHAT WE NEED!!!!

WHEN YOU SEE ME ON MTV OR BET ROCKIN OUT DONT SAY I NEVER WARNED YOU...

NOTHING LESS BUT ALWAYS SOMETHING MORE...

LETS GET ON A HIGHER LEVEL...SHALL WE????



~CIAO.BLESS~

CRAVING!!!!

I SHOULD HAVE NEVER...

WHAT MORE CAN I DO WITHOUT LOOKING LIKE A FOOL????

I THOUGHT I COULD....

NEVER AGAIN WILL I PLAY THE FOOL...

THE TIME HAS COME TO GET REAL OR GET LOST....AS REAL AS I AM I FEEL AS THOUGH I NEED TO BE LOST IN THE CLOUDS OR JUST SOMEWHERE FAR WHERE PEOPLE DONT KNOW ME...AND PEOPLE WILL MISS ME...

OR NOT...

WHAT MORE MUST I DO TO PROVE MYSELF WORTHY...

I SAY IM IN DENIAL AT TIMES BUT I THINK IM NOT AND EVERYONE ELSE TRULY IS...IM HEARING THE SAME THINGS OVER AND OVER AND IM JUST TRYING TO DEAL, BUT EVERYONE WANTS TO STATE THE OBVIOUS...

I KNOW DAMMIT BUT I CANT DO SHIT ABOUT IT, ILL JUST HAVE TO WAIT PATIENTLY UNTIL THE BIG PICTURE IGNITES ITSELF AND THEN ILL STILL BE AROUND TO PIECE THE PIECES BACK TOGETHER...

ILL FIX THE BROKEN AND GET NOTHING FOR IT...I VOLUNTEER MY SERVICES FOR NO RECOGNITION WHATSOEVER, JUST TO PLEASE OTHERS AND IM TIRED...MENTALLY IM JUST SUPER DRAINED WITH THIS SITUATION...

TRYING TO FIND A WAY AND I WAS TEMPTED TO DO SOMETHING TODAY BUT I DIDNT HAVE THE COURAGE TO...THE OUTCOME COULD BE BAD AND IM NOT TO BE TRUSTED...

IM GOING THROUGH WITHDRAWALS AND I DONT WANT TO DO ANYTHING RETARDED...I THINK I NEED TO GO TO BED EARLY TONIGHT SO I DONT GET IN TROUBLE...DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT!!!

THE CRAVINGS IS RIDICULOUS...I FEEL LIKE A VAMPIRE FIENDING FOR BLOOD...AND IM NOT TALKING ABOUT DRUGS LET ME CLEAR THE AIR NOW ON THAT...

WHAT TO DO TO CURVE THESE CRAVINGS THAT I HAVE BEEN DENIED FOR TOO LONG???

CALL IT LUST IF YOU WANT...THEN IM TOTALLY LIVING IN SIN...HEHEHE *SSSSHHHHH*

~CIAO.BLESS~

I GUESS IT IS EXACTLY WAT IT IS!!!!!

I SING THIS SONG EVERYDAY...JUMP ROPE TO IT FOR MOTIVATION...I GET REAL EMO AT NIGHT WHEN I HEAR IT AND JUST LAY ON THE FLOOR STRAINING MY BRAIN AND KILLING MY HEART AND HOPE THAT MY SOUL DISINTEGRATES...BUT LIFE IS EVERYTHING YOU SEE AND DON'T SEE AND I REALLY NEED TO BE GONE FROM THIS MISERY...*TEAR*

"Revenge Is Sweeter (Than You Ever Were)"

I saw it in the news
You told me they were wrong
And I stood up for you
'Cause I believed you were the one

You had all the chances in the world
To let me know the truth
What the hell's wrong with you?

Are you even listening when I talk to you?
Do you even care what I'm going through?
Your eyes stare and they're staring right through me
You're right there but it's like you never knew me

Do you even know how much it hurt,
That you gave up on me to be with her?
Revenge is sweeter than you ever were

I'm so mad at you right now
I can't even find the words
And you're on the way down
I can't wait to see you burn
You try to make me hate that girl
When I should be hating you
What the hell's wrong with you?

Are you even listening when I talk to you?
Do you even care what I'm going through?
Your eyes stare and they're staring right through me
You're right there but it's like you never knew me

Do you even know how much it hurt,
That you gave up on me to be with her?
Revenge is sweeter than you ever were
(than you ever were)
Revenge is sweeter than you ever were

Nothing can save you now that it's over
I guess that you'll find out when you're no one
Don't say you're sorry now 'cause I just don't care

Nothing can save you now, nothing
Nothing can save you now, nothing

Are you even listening when I talk to you?
Do you even care what I'm going through?
You're eyes stare and they're staring right through me
You're right there but it's like you never knew me

Do you even know how much it hurt,
That you gave up on me to be with her?
Revenge is sweeter than you ever were
(than you ever were)
Revenge is sweeter than you ever were

~THE VERONICAS

OH NO YOU DIDNT!!!!!

Oh no
Oh no
Oh no
Yo yo yo
Oh no you didn't
Sucka tried to play me
But you never paid me, Neva
Oh no you didn't
Payback is a' comin'
You will be runnin', foreva
Oh no you didn't
Until i get my vengeance
I will never end this mayhem
Oh no you didn't
I'm a mercenary
You ain't got a prayer, you owe meeee
Oh no you didn't

[Chorus] 
Oh no you didnt
Oh no you didn't
Oh no you didn't
Oh no you didn't
Didn't you oh no
You didn't pay me what you oweeee, me
So now its over for you
[/Chorus]
Yeah
Yo yo
Check it out
Oh no you didn't
First you tried to trap me
Then you bust a cap in, my ass
Oh no you didn't
Such humiliation will bring annihilation, at last
Oh no you didn't
It will be delicious when I get vicious, tomorrow
Oh no you didn't
There's no seccond chances
You will do the dance of sorrowwwww
Oh no you didn't

[Chorus] 
Oh no you didnt
Oh no you didn't
Oh no you didn't
Oh no you didn't
Didn't you oh no
You didn't pay me what you oweeee, me
So now its over for you
[/Chorus]

What a foo
Aight common
Oh no you didn't
Betta watch your back boy, keep runnin'
This aint just a game, I'll never stop comin'
I got my arsenal
I put out the call
And when I'm finished ya'll
You'll be a rag doll

Fool tried to diss me
Now you're gonna wish you were dead
Oh no you didn't
After I deliver your blood will be a river of red
Oh no you didn't
Better be aware when nones there to defend you
Oh no you didn't
So many wish to kill its going to be a thrill to end youuuuuu
Oh no you didn't

[Chorus] 
Oh no you didnt
Oh no you didn't
Oh no you didn't
Oh no you didn't
Didn't you oh no
You didn't pay me what you oweeee me
So now its over for you
[/Chorus]

PULLING OUT MY FUCKING HAIR!!!!

WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!

LIFE IS NOT FAIR...ITS SOO UNEASY...

WHAT IS EXPECTED OF US IF ALL WE DEAL WITH IS STRUGGLE AND STRIFE...

MY FAITH IS STRONG...BUT IS IT STRONG ENOUGH TO SURVIVE???

HOW CAN A WORLD SOO GREAT BE SOO HORRIBLE....THE EVILS OF THIS WORLD IS TORMENTING MY SOUL AND THIS CONSTANT BATTLE HAS GONE ON LONG ENOUGH AND I AM WEARY...

MY BROTHER GOT SHOT IN THE NECK YESTERDAY...WELL LAST NIGHT...AND THE AMOUNT OF FLASHBACKS TO OUR CHILDHOOD, AND OTHER PEOPLES DEATH THAT I HAVE WITNESS,WENT THROUGH MY HEAD THAT I ACTUALLY FELL TO MY KNEES BECAUSE I WAS SOO WEAK AND ILL....THAT COULD HAVE BEEN THE PHONE CALL THAT IM TIRED OF GETTING..."SUCH AND SUCH DIED"  

WHEN THE FUCK WILL THIS MAYHEM END??????

I THANK GOD FOR SPEARING MY BROTHERS LIFE AGAIN...EVEN THOUGH THE BULLET IS STILL IN HIS NECK AND THEY CANT TAKE IT OUT BECAUSE ITS TOO CLOSE TO HIS SPINE...IM THANKFUL...I WAS ON THE FLOOR IN MY BEDROOM CRYING MY GUTS OUT TO GOD JUST THANKING HIM SOO MUCH....IN THE BACK OF MY HEAD (WHICH HE HEARS AS WELL) I WAS QUESTIONING HIS METHODS WHICH I KNOW I SHOULDNT BUT IM HUMAN...I THANK HIM NONE THE LESS...

HEAVEN ONLY KNOWS THE PSYCHOLOGICAL ISSUES IM GOING THROUGH...IT SCARES THE SHIT OUT OF ME AND IM ALL ALONE IN THIS BRAIN OF MINE AND IM NOT TO BE TRUSTED...

AS MUCH AS I HAVE FAITH I DOUBT MYSELF AT TIMES AND IM WAY BETTER THAN THAT...SHIT HASN'T BE GOING VERY WELL FOR ME...YET IM DETERMINED TO PUSH MYSELF BEYOND MY LIMITS OF EXPECTATIONS....

MY MUSIC IS MY LIFE AND WHEN IM DISCOVERED BY THE "LIME LIGHT" I PRAY THE RIGHT PEOPLE ARE IN MY CORNER AND I STAY TRUE TO MYSELF LIKE IVE BEEN DOING...

MY DAD WAS PUTTING A LITTLE PRESSURE ON ME SAYING THAT I AM THE ONE TO SAVE THE FAMILY AND HE TOLD ME THIS LONG AGO ALONG WITH THE STORY OF HOW HE PRAYED TO GOD FOR SOO LONG TO HAVE ME, SO WHEN HE IS OLD I WILL BE THERE FOR HIM...AND LOOK AT ME NOW SOO FRIKKIN FAR AWAY FROM HIM...GUILT IS IN MY HEART FOR LEAVING HIM BUT DEATH WOULD HAVE CREPT IN IF I WOULD HAVE STAYED...THE LIFESTYLE I WAS LIVING WAS DESTRUCTIVE...IT WAS A PATH TO THE CITY OF NOWHERE...

WELL HERE I GO AGAIN MENTALLY DISTURBED AND TRANSFORMATION IS A MUST...

~CIAO.BLESS~

POSITIVITY!!! ~_^

HOW DOES REALITY GET REALER????

IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE BECAUSE IT JUST GOT EVEN REALER TO ME...I'M FOCUS YET DISTRACTED AND MY INSPIRATION COMES AND GOES AS IT PLEASES...MY ADOLESCENT MIND TAKES FULL CONTROL WHEN IT WANTS TO AND CHAOS RULES THE OUTER BODY...AM I THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL????NOPE...I'M NOT EVIL I JUST GET FED UP AND PISSED OFF WHEN I SHOULD BE ASKING GOD FOR GUIDANCE.

THIS LIFE OF MINE IS GREAT TO A CERTAIN POINT...ONCE I SWITCH JOBS I THINK ILL BE ABLE TO PROGRESS MORE...MY MIND IS SCREWED RIGHT NOW BECAUSE OF 2 REASONS AND ONE OF THOSE IS MY JOB AND THE OTHER IS MY LOVE LIFE...AND BOTH OF THOSE FALL UNDER THE CATEGORY OF *FUCKING SUCKS*

IM NOT RUSHING ANYTHING BUT I SURE DO WISH IT WOULD HURRY UP...LMAO

I'VE BEEN WRITING SOME NEW SONGS AND JUST BEEN TRYING TO KEEP A POSITIVE LOOK OUT BUT THIS FORM OF DEPRESSION IS EATING AT MY SOUL AND THIS SHIT ACTUALLY HURTS...

I WAS THINKING OF MOVING BACK TO BOSTON JUST TO START OVER AND EVEN THOUGH IT WOULD HELP, I DONT WANT TO...I WANNA MAKE IT WORK WHERE IM AT AND NOT RETURN HOME A FAILURE BY WHOEVER STANDARDS INCLUDING MINE...WHEN I WAS TALKING TO MY DAD HE TOLD ME TO DROP EVERYTHING AND COME HOME, I REPEAT, COME HOME....

WHO THE HELL WANTS TO GO BACK HOME LIVING WITH THEIR PARENTS LIKE THE ENTERTAINER FROM "I LOVE MONEY" AFTER I HAVENT BEEN LIVING WITH THEM FOR YEARS, PLUS THE FACT THAT THEIR MINISTERS...I WOULD BE IN CONSTANT DEBATE ABOUT EVERYTHING...LETS NOT MESS UP THIS FINALLY FIXED RELATIONSHIP WE GOT GOING WITH ME COMING HOME AND NOT BEING WHAT THEY EXPECT...

EXPECTATIONS FROM OTHERS ARE OF NO CONCERN TO ME...I HOPE PEOPLE DONT THINK I NEED TO PROVE MYSELF TO THEM WHICH I DONT AND NEVER WILL...

MY PURPOSE IS HIGH AND MIGHTY AND ALL THE FOLLY OF THE WORLD COULDNT KEEP ME FROM SUCCEEDING...POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS IS A HABIT ONE GREAT HABIT I POSSESS AND IM NOT GIVING UP...I SPEAK CHANGE IN MY LIFE...THAT CHANGE TO THE HIGHER NEXT LEVEL OF PROSPERITY...



~CIAO.BLESS~

LETS GET IT DONE!!!!

wow...soo many things to get inspiration from yet still semi-miserable about a couple of things...

i was at a bar yesterday and met some cool people who's in a band and i realized how band i want my music career to kick off...

but there's a few things i need to sort out first and get my mind right on the issues...

from work to home to friendships to everything and everywhere, its time for my change to begin and I'm glad that I've been practicing my guitar which gives me comfort and I'm sticking with it this time...

i have to inspire myself considering that alot of shit is an illusion and I'm not truly happy which is my reality...

lets see where this change in atmosphere takes me...I'm soo ready to see who is still standing by me when this foggy air clears...

TOO MUCH TALENT IN ME TOO JUST LET IT SLIP AWAY...TIME TO TAKE ON THE WORLD AND ALL ITS UGLYS!!!!



~ciao.bless~

YIKES!!!!!

Lyrics to: THIS LOVE

I, I,
I can see it in your eyes
Taste it in our first kiss
Stranger in this lonely town (this lonely town)
Save me from my emptiness (save me)

You took my hand
You told me it would be ok
I trusted you to hold my heart
Now fate is pulling me away, from you

Even if I leave you now
And it breaks my heart
Even if I'm not around
I won't give in
I can't give up
On this love

You've become a piece of me
Makes me sick to even think
Of mornings waking up alone
Searching for you in my sheets
Don't fade, away

Even if I leave you now
And it breaks my heart
Even if I'm not around
I won't give in (won't give in)
I can't give up (can't give up)
On this love

I can't just close the door (on this love)
I never felt anything like this before(like this love)
Tell me the truth no matter what we're going through
Will you hold on too 'cause

Even if I leave you now
And it breaks my heart
Even if I'm not around
I won't give in
I can't give up
On this love

Even if I leave you now (leave you now)
And it breaks my heart
Even if I'm not around (not around)
I won't give in (won't give in)
I can't give up (can't give up)
I won't give in (won't give in)
I can't give up (can't give up)

On this love


~THE VERONICAS

TIME 2 B GONE!!!!

Lyrics to I Can't Stay Away :

This is wrongI should be gone
Yet here we lay
'Cause I can't stay away
Roses bloomIn your dirty room
I come to play
'Cause I can't stay away
No I can't stay away-ay

I'm conflictedI inhale now
I'm addictedTo this place
To you babe
I can't stay away
Can't stay away

We get up, we go down
Then we go one more round
It's wrong, they say I can't stay a-
I can't stay awayNo I can't stay a-
I can't stay away

I was numbFor you
I comeNight and day
And I can't stay away
No I can't stay away

I'm conflicted
I inhale now I'm addicted
To this place
To you babe
I can't stay away
Can't stay away

We get up, we go down
Then we go one more round
It's wrong, they say
I can't stay a- I can't stay away
No I can't stay a- I can't stay away

I wish I could Leave and never returnBaby,
I know I should But for you I'd burn
Stay away 'Cause I can't stay away-ay

I'm conflicted
I inhale now I'm addicted
To this place
To you babe
I can't stay awayCan't stay away
We get up, we go down
Then we go one more round
It's wrong, they say
I can't stay a- I can't stay away
No I can't stay a-

I can't stay away
I can't stay away
I can't stay away
I can't stay away
I can't stay away



~THE VERONICAS

CONFUSION!!!

I WOKE UP FEELING DEFEATED SOMEHOW, I USUALLY WAKE UP IN A SHITTY YET PLEASANT MOOD...IM NOT TOO SURE WHATS ABOUT TO HAPPEN TODAY, BUT I KNOW I DONT LIKE THIS FEELING.


SOME SHIT THAT IVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT FOR A COUPLE OF MONTHS JUST KEEPS POPPING BACK IN MY HEAD AND STR8 CONFUSING THE BITCH OUT OF ME.

IM TRYING TO KEEP MY KOOL BUT IM SEEING A MASSIVE EXPLOSION IN THE NEAR FUTURE.

COPING WITH FEELINGS UNKNOWN, LOOKING FORWARD TO THE FUTURE UNSEEN, MEETING PEOPLE WHO WILL ONLY LET ME DOWN, OLD FRIENDS RE-SURFACE WHEN NOT WANTED OR NEEDED, REJECTION, BEING SABOTAGED....I JUST DONT KNOW!!!

THE LIARS KEEP COMING AROUND, EVEN WHEN TOLD NOT TO. WHEN PUSH COMES TO SHOVE THE TRUTH SHALL BE REVEALED AND ITS GONNA GET REAL UGLY...DONT WAIT TIL THE LAST MINUTE, COME TO YOUR SENSES.

REALITY IS A BITCH AND THATS ONE BITCH YOU CANT DISMISS...




~CIAO.BLESS~

BACK TO THE GUITAR!!!

ILL BE STARTING MY GUITAR LESSONS IN 2WKS AND IM KILLER EXCITED SOO I DECIDED TO GO DUST OFF THE ACOUSTIC AND ELECTRIC YESTERDAY.

AND IT FELT SOOO FRIKKIN GOOD IN MY HANDS!!!!!

SO I TOOK THE ACOUSTIC TO WORK SO I CAN TUNE IT AND PRACTICE UP BEFORE I GO TO MY CLASS AND LOOK MAJOR STOOOOPID...LOL

ITS GONNA TAKE ALOT OF HARD WORK AND DEDICATION ONCE AGAIN BUT IM TRULY READY, THIS WILL HELP ME MAJOR WITH MY SINGING CAREER AS WELL SOO IM DEF BOUT TO GIVE IT MY ALL AND WAY MUCH MORE.

CHANGE IS ALWAYS IN PROCESS AS I LIVE AND WHERE EVER I GO ITS GONNA BE A WILD JOURNEY OF WHAT I MAKE IT.

GOD HASNT LIMITED ME TO 1 TALENT IM BLESSED WITH MANY AND IM GRATEFUL AND EXCITED ABOUT MY FUTURE...

LETS GET IT!!!!!!


~CIAO.BLESS~

INSIGHT...TAKE IT & GROW!!!

The life u live, how will u live it?

According to others sayings or according to ur own knowledge?

Take what others tell u and apply to the positive light that is within.

God has and always will provide and protect you. He instored knowledge into you and surrounded you with people and things that will supply you with positive and negative knowledge.

Be concerned and wise on which is which.

The negative can camophlage itself to be positive and destroy your life.

Your life depends on your knowledge to protect it, as a child depends on mommy to know right from wrong.

So look and then really see.

Looking and seeing is two totally different things. To look is to look on the surface of anything which only gives off an appearance, which usually is an illusion.

To see is to visualize in depth seeing the TRUE core of anything that will open and challenge ur mind to decide what exactly it is that you are seeing.

Seeing is not believe, only to fools it is. You don't see the wind but u believe it exists, so clearly seeing is not believing.


~me


~ciao.bless~

UNDO MY SANITY!!!

SANITY slowly eases its way out as I reject it with a smile. Insanity violently starts to take full
effect as I pull it in with a grin. Its weird, unusual, and comforting how there is a thin line
between, yet no difference. One different feeling that seperates these opposites. While insanity
makes me more free. I now felt trap when sanity was omnipotent. Is insanity my destiny to
survive in my own world?, for the outside world will force upon me medication to direct my
sanity to its proper place. I will and shall not let them try to fix what I feel is right.Sanity is the
enemy which I am out to destroy, a fight to the death. For I am free to roam in insanity. The air
here is fresh and I am carefree to do as I please. No regrets, no thoughts, no remorse, no worry.
Me, myself, and I, in paradise to stir up chaos and raise havoc to the proud prominent level it
should be respected. If I am not insane than I shall die trying. The weight of the world is upon us and there is enough greif and tribulation to convert the sane ones to insanity voluntarily. Its such
an easy way to live, to do as you want, think as you want, feel as you want. While others try to
comprhend the real worlds mysteries, I choose to leave it be and let it burn in its own ruins.


~me


~ciao.bless~

FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

SO HERE'S WHAT I WOULD LIKE TODAY, CONSIDERING THE FACT THAT I MIGHT BE GETTING OFF WORK EARLY...YAY!!!

SO THIS GUY WHO SOLD ME MY CAR WORKS AT ANOTHER DEALERSHIP AND TOLD ME I CAN COME IN AND TRADE...

NOW THIS FUCKING LOSER IS KNOWN FOR FLIPPIN LYING SOO I CANT TRUST HIM AT ALL WHATSOEVER....BITCH!!!

ANYWHO SO I WAS GONNA BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF HIM ONE DAY CUZ I WAS FED UP WITH HIS LIES....SO I HAD TO PLAY NICE AND TOLD HIM TO COME SEE ME AND LO AND BEHOLD *NO CALL NO SHOW* ...ISNT THAT STR8 TERMINATION FROM A JOB???

I HAD ON MY SWEAT SUIT AND HAIR BACK CRAZY VASELINE ON FACE AND MY EVER SO FAITHFUL CHUCKS....OL SKOOL STYLE...LOL

SO I JUST *TRIED* TO ERASE HIS NUMBER, WHICH I THOUGHT I DID BUT MY PHONE IS SOOO FRIKKIN JACKED UP *THANX SHELDON* THAT WHEN HE CALLED HIS NAME POPPED UP AND IM LIKE "WTF U WANT???" STR8 GHETTO FABO ON HIS ASS

SOO LONG STORY SHORT...IM GONNA GO UP THERE AND IF I DONT WALK OFF THAT LOT WITH THE FLIPPIN CAR I WANT......*LAUGHING*......IMMA FUCK THAT BITCH ASS NIGGA UP AT HIS FUCKING JOB AND GET HIS ASS FIRED!!!!!!*SMILE*

SOOO YEAH YEAH YEAH MAYBE THAT IS GHETTO AND NOT LADY LIKE BUT IM FED UP OF FALSE PROMISES AND UNTIL I MAKE MY STAMP THESE SO CALLED "MEN" WILL TRY THE SAME BULLSHIT OVER AND OVER AGAIN....

IM LEAVING MY MARK ON EVERY MAN THAT THINKS THEY CAN TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME OR TRY TO PLAY ME.....FUCK THAT ITS SOOO NOT GOING DOWN LIKE THAT....

OK....... SOOOO......... AFTER THAT IM GONNA HAVE A DRINK FOR SATISFACTION AND GO SEE MY BFFF AND BE RETARDED WITH HIM TONIGHT....*ADJUSTING PANTS* YUP!!! SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD DAY TO ME...LMAO...IM READY!



~CIAO.BLESS~

THATS EXACTLY WHAT I GET!!!!!

NO SIR, WELL I DONT WANNA BE THE BLAME
NOT ANYMORE
ITS YOUR TURN, SO TAKE A SEAT
WE'RE SETTLING THE FINAL SCORE
AND WHY DO WE LIKE TO HURT SOO MUCH

I CANT DECIDE YOU HAVE MADE IT HARDER
JUST TO GO ON
AND WHY, ALL THE POSSIBILITIES
WELL, I WAS WRONG

THATS WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU LET YOUR HEART WIN, WHOA
THATS WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU LET YOUR HEAR WIN, WHOA
I DROWNED OUT ALL MY SENSE
WITH THE SOUND OF ITS BEATING
AND THATS WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU LET YOUR HEART WIN, WHOA

I WONDER, HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO FEEL
WHEN YOUR NOT HERE
CAUSE I BURNED EVERY BRIDGE I EVER BUILT
WHEN YOU WERE HERE

I STILL TRY TO HOLD ON TO SILLY THINGS
I NEVER LEARN
OH WHY, ALL THE POSSIBILITIES
IM SURE YOU'VE HEARD

CHORUS

PAIN MAKE YOUR WAY TO ME, TO ME
AND ILL ALWAYS BE JUST SOO INVITING
IF I EVER START TO THINK STRAIGHT
THIS HEART WILL START A RIOT IN ME
LETS START,START,HEY


WHY DO WE LIKE TO HURT SO MUCH
OH, WHY DO WE LIKE TO HURT SO MUCH
THATS WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU LET YOUR HEART WIN, WHOA

THATS WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU LET YOUR HEART WIN, WHOA
THATS WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU LET YOUR HEART WIN, WHOA

NOW I CANT TRUST MYSELF
WITH ANYTHING BUT THIS
AND THATS WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU LET YOUR HEART WIN, WHOA



~PARAMORE~

FINGER MY MACARONI....

I WANTED TO WHOP SUM DAMN ASS AROUND THIS BITCH TODAY!!!!!


ALL I WAS THINKING WAS SCARY MOVIES "MY GERMS"


I MADE SOME MACARONI A TUNA...SHUTTTUP...I LIKED IT DAMMIT...AND I LEFT SUM IN THE POT FOR LATER...I WAS DOGGING IT AND I KNEW I WANTED TO DOGG IT AGAIN LATER...

ONE OF MY DAMN CLIENT WITH HER NOSE PICKING FINGERS/WHERE BLOOD OUTLINES THE CUTICLES MOST DAYS/WHO DOESNT LIKE TO SHOWER DECIDED TO STICK HER HAND IN THE POT AND PICK UP A *HANDFUL*(WHY A HANDFUL???WHY???) OF "MY" FOOD AND FORCED IT DOWN HER THROAT AND SOME PIECES FELL BACK INTO THE POT AS WELL...

I WAS STANDING THERE IN THE HALLWAY BOUT TO THROW UP MY INTESTINES(LARGE N SMALL) MY *STINKFACE* WAS SOO VERY INTENSELY STRONG *VOMIT*


THEN SHE TURNS HER HEAD SLIGHTLY TO LOOK AT ME AND OFFERED ME SOME FROM HER HANDS *BODY QUIVERS IN DISGUST*

IM ALWAYS HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY BUT I WAS SOOO CONFUSED AND JUST GOT DUMBFOUNDED AND I TURNED AWAY LIKE I JUST SEEN A GHOST AND TOOK SOME PAIN KILLERS.....

I WENT TO GO CHECK THE DAMAGE AT THE CRIME SCENE AN HOUR LATER AND IT WAS BRUTAL AND I WAS RANTING AND JUST CLEANED THE CRAP UP...

I HAVE TO KEEP IN MIND THAT SHE'S MENTALLY ILL BUT DAMMIT SHE KNEW BETTER THAN TO *FINGER MY MACARONI*


SUMBITCH!!! IM STILL MAD!!!!!!



~CIAO.BLESS~

WOWZERS!!!!!!

AS I WAS DOING MY HAIR FOR FRIKKIN HOURS, MY FRIEND WAS TELLING ME HOW HER HUSBAND WAS CHEATING ON HER WITH A CLOSE CO-WORKER...YIKES!!!!

SO THE CHICK TOLD HER AND SET HIM UP AND ALL HELL BROKE LOSE...MY GAAAAAD...BREAKING SHIT WITH A BAT TYPE CRAZY...BIRDS OF A FEATHER AND I LOVE THAT TRICK...

NOW IN THE RIOT AND HEAT OF IT ALL SHE ENDED UP BREAKING SOME OF HER STUFF IN THE PROCESS WHICH I FOUND TO BE FUNNY...CRAZY BITCH!!!!!!!

SHE WENT TO CHURCH AND TESTIFIED TO GET IT OFF HER CHEST AND MOVE ON WHEN HER PASTOR WAS TRYING TO HIT ON HER...SEEING THAT SHE IS SINGLE NOW AND HE WAS ON THE PROWL...LOL

THIS MONTH REALLY WASNT GETTING BETTER FOR HER WHEN SHE FOUND OUT SHE WAS PREGNANT...*ICING ON CAKE* SHE IS TOTALLY ABOUT TO LOOSE IT...

I TRIED TO BE POSITIVE FOR HER BUT SHE WAS SOOO FRIKKIN DOWN IT WAS SCARY, SHE CAME TO MY JOB TO JUST CHILL AND CLEAR HER MIND AND JUST TALK FACE TO FACE...

SHE CRIED...DAMMIT I CRIED...*IICK* I WAS CRYING FOR MYSELF AS WELL...BUT SHE LEFT SMILING SO I SAID SOMETHING RIGHT...WHICH IM GOOD FOR CHEERING OTHER PEOPLE UP BUT NOT MYSELF...WEIRD!!!!!


NOW ALL I CAN DO IS WAIT AND SEE WAT HAPPENS.....I PRAY SHE'LL BE OK!



LIFE IS WAY TOOO COMPLICATED.....

~CIAO.BLESS~

MY EMO'S FLEXXING WITH ME!!!

I WAS TALKING TO A FRIEND OF MINE AND SHE SAID THAT SUM SHITS ABOUT TO POP OFF IN MY LIFE...IT WAS WEIRD CUZ I HAD THE SAME FEELING.

MONDAY I WAS SOOO FRIKKIN DOWN I WAS PRACTICALLY OUT OF IT NOT WANTING TO TALK TO ANYONE...BUT 1 PERSON

BUT TRUTH BE TOLD I WAS REALLY MAD AT MYSELF FOR NOT DOING WHAT I NEEDED TO DO WITH MY MUSIC AND SCHOOL...BUT WHEN I WAS TALKING TO MY FRIEND SHE SAID I NEED TO SEPARATE MYSELF AND GO DO IT BECAUSE THE SHIT IM ABOUT TO ENCOUNTER IM BOUT TO NEED A SAFE HAVEN ASAP...

IT GOT ME KINDA SHOOK BUT I BELIEVED HER AND IM FIGURING SHIT OUT SLOWLY BUT SURELY AND I PRAY THAT IT WONT BE WHAT I THINK IT IS...

IT FEELS LIKE ROCK BOTTOM OR SOMEWHAT CLOSE TO IT...NOW ITS JUST TIME TO PROVE MYSELF WORTHY OF MY OWN ACCEPTANCE....SOO MUCH TO FRIKKIN TO DO AND IM ALL BY MYSELF TO DO IT...

IM READY, DETERMINED, ANXIOUS, AND SOMEWHAT FRIGHTENED BY MY FUTURE BUT ITS MINE FOR THE TAKING AND NOBODY IS TAKING THIS TITLE...

NOBODY...

MY EMO'S ARE BOUNCING OFF WALLS AND STIRRING UP CONFUSION AT TIMES...BUT I CANT LET IT GET THE BEST OF ME...


WISH ME KNOWLEDGE,WISDOM, AND UNDERSTANDING ON MY JOURNEY TO THE TOP CUZ ITS ABOUT TO GET REAL UGLY!!!



~CIAO.BLESS~

LIARS!!!

POINT STR8 I HATE THEM!!!!!!!!!!!

WHY LIE WHEN U NEED TO LIE TO KEEEP UP WITH THAT LIE...AND SO ON AND SO ON...

AFTER A WHILE YOUR WHOLE LIFE BECOMES A LIE AND THEN YOU'VE JUST PLAIN LOST YOURSELF...TRAGEDY I SAY!

IVE BEEN LIED TO SOOO MANY TIMES, IM TO THE POINT WHERE I BELIEVE NOTHING ANYONE COULD SAY TO ME...I JUST WAIT FOR THEM TO PROVE IT AND I JUST MIGHT BELIEVE THEM...I SAID MIGHT!

SO PLEASE STOP BEING FAKE AND TELL YOUR FRIEND SHE/HE LOOKS FAT...THAT SHIT DONT MATCH, YOUR BREATHE IS HOTT....YOU KNOW REAL SHIT...

TELL THE TRUTH AND YOU WILL BE REWARDED...I DNT KNOW WITH WHAT BUT JUST FRIKKIN DO IT DAMMIT!!!!


LOL...IM SERIOUS!


~CIAO.BLESS~

the OD day that didnt go my way!!!!

*this is actually something that never happened to me personally but i wrote it like it did because it does hit somewhat close to the heart....im a writer i can flip it and revese it..*





i had a shitty day and the year was once upon a time not long ago...it was a horrible year, a horrible month, a horrible day, a worst of an hour...

came home and was fed up and ready for death to swoop me away to watever afterlife is after this one that i was eager to get rid of...

im a survivor of my own suicide and was mad as fuck when i was revived...screaming NO!!!! with my first breath of this world once again..

i wanted to die and stay dead...i took a whole bottle of viccodin and smiled myself to sleep woke up in the hospital feeling defeat....

crying my eyes out knowing they'll give me meds and psychiatrists...more probations and therapists....thats why i wanted to end this shit...

the world of woe im forced to call home...wishing i was dead and free to roam alone...



im still here...



~ciao~

when will he realize???

we are best friends to the utmost, my feelings for him is too much to bare.

we do everything a great couple would do but we don't have the title...we r not normal at all and we like that we stand out in a massive crowd. he said he could never be faithful to me and it wouldn't work....he's being faithful now so why couldn't he be faithful if we was together???

he also says he breaks up with girls and don't want to be their friend after and he doesn't want to put me through that...but he says he loves me and I KNOW he is in love with me but it could never work.... seriously??? this shit is trippin me out and I'm sticking around for nothing, i find myself stuck not wanting to move or distance myself from him...therefore i make it worst on both ends...

I LOVE YOU flows from our mouths like alcohol (FUCK WATER)and we drink alot of it... its simple to feel comfortable when near each other...never a half a second of silence...always down for watever with each other...I'm trying to be content with this situation but i find myself feeling unappreciated...

we greet each other every morning with a text message...we talk everyday via telephone,email,myspace,facebook...shit its like we have no other friends just each other yet we cant be together even when we already are together...such an oxymoron that moron is...

brokenhearted for way too long and i think this is what i chose for me cuz i don't want to leave him...I'm satisfied with wat i have even though i could have better...he's the male version of me and what girl doesn't want that in their life...play fights endlessly, great intense conversation, equally insane, cuddling, kisses galore, immaculate sex each time we please each other...i knew it was too good to be true...its killer good with sum truth bout not the whole truth...
my thing is i think he's scared of wat could possibly bloom from this and he doesn't want to change, and change is not expected from him...i wouldn't change one thing about him...he's not perfect and i fucking love him either way...

brokenhearted for way too long and i don't know how to let go....^_^v


~ciao~