ANTI-SOCIAL???? NOT MUTHERFUCKING ME BITCHES!!!!!

MY WEEKEND WAS FRIKKIN CRAZY.....

OK FRIDAY WENT TO SEE SAW V...IT SUCKED...I WAS PISSED AT MY BFFF SO I HAD TO LEAVE THAT MUTHERFUCKER CAUSE IT WAS JUST THE BEST THING TO DO...

SO I WENT TO GAME NIGHT WHICH I SHOULD HAVE JUST WENT TO FIRST AND NOT WASTE GAS,TIME,AND MONEY AT THE MOVIES.... SO I GOT THERE LATE SO THEY WAS JUST SITTING AROUND TALKING...SO IM READY TO PLAY AND DRINK AND DRINK SOME SOME *SMILE* THEY PLAYED ALREADY AND THEIR DRUNK AND SOME PEOPLE LEFT SO I CALL SOME FRIENDS OVER AND THE PARTY IS BACK ON...

WE PLAYED *TABOO* AND *HAVE YOU EVER?*

I WILL NEVER PLAY HAVE YOU EVER AGAIN...I GOT BENT OFF THAT DAMN GAME AND THEY GUYS WAS JUST TRYING TO GET AT ME (HORNY BASTARDS) ANYWAYS THAT SHIT WAS FUCKING HILARIOUS!!!!!!


THERE WAS THIS MASSIVE DEBATE *ARGUEMENT* LOL ABOUT THE CATEGORY THIS GUY PUT THE FEMALES IN....OK SO WE HAD *WIFEY MATERIAL* *GIRLFRIEND* *JUMPOFF* AND *ONENIGHT STAND*.....THESE BITCHES WENT MUTHERFUCKING WILD WHEN THEY CALLED THEM ONENIGHT STAND OR A JUMPOFF....HA!!! I GOT CALLED A JUMPOFF AND ONENIGHT STAND IT WAS NOTHING....I GOT CALLED WIFEY AND GIRLFRIEND IT WAS NOTHING...THEN IT WAS JUST ON ME AND MY SISTER ARGUING BOUT SUM FUCKERY...THEN WE GANG UP ON EVERYONE ELSE WHEN WE AGREE WITH EACH OTHER...I LOVE IT!!!!!!


OK SATURDAY *HANGOVER*

I FORGOT I HAD TO BE A SOCCER MOM TODAY FOR MY NEPHEW WHICH I DONT MIND ITS QUITE FUN...SO WENT TO PAY MY CAR NOTE WENT TO PLAY SOCCER AND WATCH MY NEPHEW PLAY...I WANTED TO JUMP IN AND JUST BODY SLAM A COUPLE OF THOSE DAMN KIDS...

I FOUND AN AFFORDABLE MUSIC CLASS ACROSS FROM HIS SOCCER BUILDING...I WALKED IN THERE AND I WAS IN HEAVEN...MY MOUTH DROPPED *ORGASMIC*

THE GUITARS WERE GLISTENING LIKE STARS AND THE DRUMS WERE BEATING ON MY HEAR THOSE DAMN PIANOS RAISED CHOPIN(MY FAVE) AND BEETHOVEN FROM THE GRAVE...THE INSTRUCTOR WAS A CUTIE TOO...BUT YES I FELL SOO DEEP IN LOVE!!!

OK LONG STORY SHORT...HA!

WENT TO THIS GUYS HOUSE IN THE NIGHT FOR DRINKS AND MUSIC I WAS BULLIED INTO SINGING SOO I CAVED JUST SOO I CAN STOP BEING BOTHERED...SO I SANG THEN I WAS STILL GETTING BOTHERED WITH THE "OH I DIDNT KNOW YOU COULD SING" "OH THAT WAS SOO GOOD" UGGHHHH!!!!! SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!

ANYWAYS WE WENT TO A SPORTS BAR AFTER..AND WE SET THAT BITCH ON FIRE...TRUE DEFINITION OF *NO ONE ON THE CORNER HAS SWAGGER LIKE US* I FELT LIKE I WAS THE PICKUP ARTIST....WE BLEW THAT JOINT CAUSE I WAS JUST OVER IT...THE GUYS WERE ON US MAN...LIKE "WHERE YALL GOING?" TYPE SHIT...

SO WE ALL ENDED UP PARTYING AT THIS OTHER SPOT *GOLDEN* I HAD 5 BLUE MUTHERFUCKAS, 2 SHOTS OF PATRON AND 2 BEERS AND DANCED AND TALKED THE NIGHT AWAY........MIKE CHECK 1 2 1 2!!!!!


ANTI-SOCIAL??????

NOT MUTHERFUCKING ME BITCHES!!!!!!



~CIAO.BLESS~

*SHRUGGZ*

I realize this morning that my feelings are not heard....

Thats cool...

They say what they want then me but there was no me, i had to let it go....

I see the troubles that lie ahead with this and it scares the shit out of me...but if thats what must happen then soo be...the end of it will appear if we life it or not...i just pray it will be prolonged...


Make sure you're being heard and make sure your actually listening to the other person especially me...please read between the lines if necessary because careless attitudes wont get you too far....


AS I WAIT IT HURTS SOO BAD AND YOU'LL NEVER UNDERSTAND!



~ciao.bless~

*STAMP*

YOU DON'T NEED TO KNOW WHY I LOVE YOU...JUST KNOW THAT I DO!!!!

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN...MIKE CHECK 1 2 , 1 2...

*STAMP*



~CIAO.BLESS~

SCARS!!!

WHO TRULY KNEW??????

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And my scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

Drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
I'm pissed cause you came around
Why don't you just go home
Cause you channel all your pain
And I can't help you fix yourself
You're making me insane
All I can say is

[Chorus:]I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feelI tried to help you once
Against my own adviceI saw you going down
But you never realized
That you're drowning in the water
So I offered you my hand
Compassions in my nature
Tonight is our last stand

[Chorus]I'm drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
You shouldn't ever come around
Why don't you just go home?
Cause you're drowning in the water
And I tried to grab your hand
And I left my heart open
But you didn't understand
But you didn't understand

Go fix yourselfI can't help you fix yourself

But at least I can say I triedI'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life


~PAPA ROACH~

WONDERING!!!

WELL SHIT STINKS...THATS A FACT

I GUESS IM EXPENDABLE TO FOLKS OF A CARELESS MATTER *SIGH*

WHO KNOWS WHAT THE FUTURE HAS IN STORED ALL I KNOW IS THAT COMMUNICATION IS KEY AND WITHOUT IT WE ARE HISTORY...SO LETS SEE EXACTLY WHERE WE GET WITHOUT COMMUNICATION IF THAT IS WHAT HAS BEEN CHOSEN...

WELL SHIT STILL STINKS...THATS STILL A FACT...





~CIAO.BLESS~

Nothing Last Forever...

people try...

but nothing last forever...

I'm good with all the recent events that have taken place in my life...

life's lessons i find quite funny but i travel through having faith in all those who are in my circle of life and myself of course...i cherish good friends and alot of them just dont know how valuable they are and who would lay down their life for a friend...i dont expect anyone to die for me...but yes i would die for my friends...YES I WOULD!!!!!

this morning i had such a weird feeling about something unknown...I'm not too sure but an investigation will be in progress soon...

I'm excited that my last day working will be next Wednesday...and my first day working anew is Thursday...I'm ready for another journey but never the same...

before i started working in the personal care home i was reading this psychology book not knowing that i would actually have to use those same skills read at my job...i find it interesting that i was reading a marketing book not too long ago and now i will be working for a marketing company....God is great in his mysterious way that i adore to the utmost...

trials are in my future i know that much, and I'm ready to kick ass by all means necessary... my life is a roller coaster and i wouldn't have it any other way...

we shall see who is standing when the fog clears....

nothing last forever...but we all wish it did....


~ciao.bless~

A FIGHT TIL AND TO THE DEATH!!!

IM SOO NOT GIVING UP!!!!!

THIS IS SOO FREAKING EXCITING...MY HEART SKIPS BEAT JUST THINKING OF ALL POSSIBILITIES AND HOW THEY WOULD WORK IN MY FAVOR FOR PROSPERITY!!!


FAITH IS GREAT...LETS DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!


~CIAO.BLESS~

THE STUDIO IS CALLING ME!!!!

I HAD A GREAT DREAM LAST NIGHT...THAT I HAD TO PERFORM IN FRONT OF DIDDY AND HE WAS LIKE IN LOVE WITH ME...

NEXT THING I KNOW IM ROCKING OUT IN THE STUDIO TO MY OWN MUSIC...NOT SHIT THAT SOMEONE WROTE AND WAS LIKE "HERE, SING THIS"

MY HARD WORK AND DEDICATION TO MY UNIQUE SOUND PAID OFF....

IT WAS SO GREAT I DIDNT WANT TO WAKE UP...UNTIL IT STARTED GETTING WEIRD WITH DEERS AND GOBLINS AND SHIT...


BUT THE THING IS I NEED TO GET BACK IN THE STUDIO AND DO MY THANG...IVE BEEN THINKING FOR ABOUT A YEAR NOW TO INVOLVE MYSELF WITH A BAND...BUT I KNOW HOW DIFFICULT THAT CAN BE....

BUT GOD KNOWS WHATS BEST FOR HIS CHILD...BUT I LOVE BEING IN A BAND ITS JUST SO MUCH BETTER WHEN ITS POSITIVE....

ALRIGHT LETS GET THIS PARTY STARTED...I WROTE 2 NEW SONGS LAST NIGHT AND I GOTTA TWEAK 3 OF THE OLD ONES AND FINISH UP 2 THAT IS STILL IN MY HEAD....


WORK, WORK, WORK, AND MORE WORK....IM SOO READY


FORWARD STILL...AS SUPERWOMYN!!!!

IN GOD I TRUST....



~CIAO.BLESS~

IM ONLY HUMAN YET A SUPERWOMYN!!!!

THE HEARTACHE AND PAIN OF A HOPELESS ROMANTIC IS UNDEFINED AND THE REST IS STILL UNWRITTEN...

ITS TIME TO GET UP AND GET OUT....

IM GOING TO QUIT MY JOB SOON AND EVEN THOUGH I KNOW A STRUGGLE IS GOING TO CONJURE UP...ILL TAKE THE RISK THATS THE ONLY WAY ILL KNOW HOW FAR I CAN GO...

DROPPING THE EXCESS WEIGHT THAT SURROUNDS ME AND PREPARING FOR MY BRIGHT FUTURE ALONE...


MEMORIES DONT LIVE LIKE PEOPLE DO...THEY ALWAYS REMEMBER YOU...WHETHER THE THINGS ARE GOOD OR BAD...ITS JUST THE MEMORIES THAT WE HAVE...

LETS GET IT DONE BY OUR LONESOME AND IF ANYONE WANTS TO COME ALONG OR JUMP OFF THIS SHIP OF NOVEL-T...DO IT AND TRUST AND BELIEVE IM NOT STOPPING YOU...


FORWARD STILL...AS A SUPERWOMYN!!!!!



~CIAO.BLESS~

I WONT BITCH!!!!

I WONT BITCH TODAY...

AS HARD AS LIFE IS I THANK GOD FOR IT EVERYDAY...

FRIENDSHIP IS FREEDOM AND I CHERISH IT SOO I CHERISH MY FREEDOM...

LIFES TRAGIC AWESOMENESS!!!!!!

THANK YOU GOD FOR EVERYTHING YOU'VE DONE, DOING, AND ABOUT TO DO!!!!

MY NAME IS MY VIRTUE AND GREATNESS IS IN MY PAST, PRESENT, AND FUTURE!!!!!



~CIAO.BLESS~

ANGER...FEAR...STUPIDITY!!!!!

SLOW AGONIZING MORTAL EXISTENCE
DOOMED BY THE STRINGS THAT CONSUME
FLATTENED BY EVERYDAY TURMOIL
JUST TO BE HUNG OVER THE BARBED FENCE
CHANGING TRACKS WITHOUT A LEAD
DAMNED UNDER THE SUN'S PRESSING TONGUE
ANGER TAKES OVER AND CANT BE RELEASED


SARCASM IN A WORD
SISTER PAIN GROWING STRONGER
MIRROR OF MIRROR AND NOT WHAT IS REAL
NO LONGER DO YOU LIVE
NO LONGER DO YOU FEEL
LOCKED IN FEAR'S CHAMBER
DAMPENED,BEATEN,SCARED TO BREAK OUT

TRASH CROWDS THE HEAD
THOUGHT BECOMES CLUTTER
LOSING ALL AND EVERYTHING FED
CONSTANT ANNOYANCE OF WHAT WAS WANTED
AND FAILED
WANTING EASINESS THAT DREAMS MISLEAD
LIKE A BOAT PENETRATING THE OCEAN
BUT WITH LESS A SAIL


ANGER
FEAR
STUPIDITY




~Susie L Kemp~

I AM BETTER THAN GREAT!!!!

THE WORD "CAN'T" WILL NOT BE APART OF MY VOCAB ANYMORE...

IM NOT BETTER THAN THE NEXT BUT IM BETTER THAN GREAT.... AND IF "NEXT" IS GREAT THAN SORRY IM JUST BETTER...GET OVER IT AND MOVE ON!!!

DESTINY IS NOT TO BE FLEXXED WITH....ITS TO BE PLAYED OUT ACCORDINGLY...

LETS DO WHAT WE WANT BUT MORE IMPORTANT LETS DO WHAT WE NEED!!!!

WHEN YOU SEE ME ON MTV OR BET ROCKIN OUT DONT SAY I NEVER WARNED YOU...

NOTHING LESS BUT ALWAYS SOMETHING MORE...

LETS GET ON A HIGHER LEVEL...SHALL WE????



~CIAO.BLESS~

CRAVING!!!!

I SHOULD HAVE NEVER...

WHAT MORE CAN I DO WITHOUT LOOKING LIKE A FOOL????

I THOUGHT I COULD....

NEVER AGAIN WILL I PLAY THE FOOL...

THE TIME HAS COME TO GET REAL OR GET LOST....AS REAL AS I AM I FEEL AS THOUGH I NEED TO BE LOST IN THE CLOUDS OR JUST SOMEWHERE FAR WHERE PEOPLE DONT KNOW ME...AND PEOPLE WILL MISS ME...

OR NOT...

WHAT MORE MUST I DO TO PROVE MYSELF WORTHY...

I SAY IM IN DENIAL AT TIMES BUT I THINK IM NOT AND EVERYONE ELSE TRULY IS...IM HEARING THE SAME THINGS OVER AND OVER AND IM JUST TRYING TO DEAL, BUT EVERYONE WANTS TO STATE THE OBVIOUS...

I KNOW DAMMIT BUT I CANT DO SHIT ABOUT IT, ILL JUST HAVE TO WAIT PATIENTLY UNTIL THE BIG PICTURE IGNITES ITSELF AND THEN ILL STILL BE AROUND TO PIECE THE PIECES BACK TOGETHER...

ILL FIX THE BROKEN AND GET NOTHING FOR IT...I VOLUNTEER MY SERVICES FOR NO RECOGNITION WHATSOEVER, JUST TO PLEASE OTHERS AND IM TIRED...MENTALLY IM JUST SUPER DRAINED WITH THIS SITUATION...

TRYING TO FIND A WAY AND I WAS TEMPTED TO DO SOMETHING TODAY BUT I DIDNT HAVE THE COURAGE TO...THE OUTCOME COULD BE BAD AND IM NOT TO BE TRUSTED...

IM GOING THROUGH WITHDRAWALS AND I DONT WANT TO DO ANYTHING RETARDED...I THINK I NEED TO GO TO BED EARLY TONIGHT SO I DONT GET IN TROUBLE...DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT!!!

THE CRAVINGS IS RIDICULOUS...I FEEL LIKE A VAMPIRE FIENDING FOR BLOOD...AND IM NOT TALKING ABOUT DRUGS LET ME CLEAR THE AIR NOW ON THAT...

WHAT TO DO TO CURVE THESE CRAVINGS THAT I HAVE BEEN DENIED FOR TOO LONG???

CALL IT LUST IF YOU WANT...THEN IM TOTALLY LIVING IN SIN...HEHEHE *SSSSHHHHH*

~CIAO.BLESS~

I GUESS IT IS EXACTLY WAT IT IS!!!!!

I SING THIS SONG EVERYDAY...JUMP ROPE TO IT FOR MOTIVATION...I GET REAL EMO AT NIGHT WHEN I HEAR IT AND JUST LAY ON THE FLOOR STRAINING MY BRAIN AND KILLING MY HEART AND HOPE THAT MY SOUL DISINTEGRATES...BUT LIFE IS EVERYTHING YOU SEE AND DON'T SEE AND I REALLY NEED TO BE GONE FROM THIS MISERY...*TEAR*

"Revenge Is Sweeter (Than You Ever Were)"

I saw it in the news
You told me they were wrong
And I stood up for you
'Cause I believed you were the one

You had all the chances in the world
To let me know the truth
What the hell's wrong with you?

Are you even listening when I talk to you?
Do you even care what I'm going through?
Your eyes stare and they're staring right through me
You're right there but it's like you never knew me

Do you even know how much it hurt,
That you gave up on me to be with her?
Revenge is sweeter than you ever were

I'm so mad at you right now
I can't even find the words
And you're on the way down
I can't wait to see you burn
You try to make me hate that girl
When I should be hating you
What the hell's wrong with you?

Are you even listening when I talk to you?
Do you even care what I'm going through?
Your eyes stare and they're staring right through me
You're right there but it's like you never knew me

Do you even know how much it hurt,
That you gave up on me to be with her?
Revenge is sweeter than you ever were
(than you ever were)
Revenge is sweeter than you ever were

Nothing can save you now that it's over
I guess that you'll find out when you're no one
Don't say you're sorry now 'cause I just don't care

Nothing can save you now, nothing
Nothing can save you now, nothing

Are you even listening when I talk to you?
Do you even care what I'm going through?
You're eyes stare and they're staring right through me
You're right there but it's like you never knew me

Do you even know how much it hurt,
That you gave up on me to be with her?
Revenge is sweeter than you ever were
(than you ever were)
Revenge is sweeter than you ever were

~THE VERONICAS

OH NO YOU DIDNT!!!!!

Oh no
Oh no
Oh no
Yo yo yo
Oh no you didn't
Sucka tried to play me
But you never paid me, Neva
Oh no you didn't
Payback is a' comin'
You will be runnin', foreva
Oh no you didn't
Until i get my vengeance
I will never end this mayhem
Oh no you didn't
I'm a mercenary
You ain't got a prayer, you owe meeee
Oh no you didn't

[Chorus] 
Oh no you didnt
Oh no you didn't
Oh no you didn't
Oh no you didn't
Didn't you oh no
You didn't pay me what you oweeee, me
So now its over for you
[/Chorus]
Yeah
Yo yo
Check it out
Oh no you didn't
First you tried to trap me
Then you bust a cap in, my ass
Oh no you didn't
Such humiliation will bring annihilation, at last
Oh no you didn't
It will be delicious when I get vicious, tomorrow
Oh no you didn't
There's no seccond chances
You will do the dance of sorrowwwww
Oh no you didn't

[Chorus] 
Oh no you didnt
Oh no you didn't
Oh no you didn't
Oh no you didn't
Didn't you oh no
You didn't pay me what you oweeee, me
So now its over for you
[/Chorus]

What a foo
Aight common
Oh no you didn't
Betta watch your back boy, keep runnin'
This aint just a game, I'll never stop comin'
I got my arsenal
I put out the call
And when I'm finished ya'll
You'll be a rag doll

Fool tried to diss me
Now you're gonna wish you were dead
Oh no you didn't
After I deliver your blood will be a river of red
Oh no you didn't
Better be aware when nones there to defend you
Oh no you didn't
So many wish to kill its going to be a thrill to end youuuuuu
Oh no you didn't

[Chorus] 
Oh no you didnt
Oh no you didn't
Oh no you didn't
Oh no you didn't
Didn't you oh no
You didn't pay me what you oweeee me
So now its over for you
[/Chorus]

PULLING OUT MY FUCKING HAIR!!!!

WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!

LIFE IS NOT FAIR...ITS SOO UNEASY...

WHAT IS EXPECTED OF US IF ALL WE DEAL WITH IS STRUGGLE AND STRIFE...

MY FAITH IS STRONG...BUT IS IT STRONG ENOUGH TO SURVIVE???

HOW CAN A WORLD SOO GREAT BE SOO HORRIBLE....THE EVILS OF THIS WORLD IS TORMENTING MY SOUL AND THIS CONSTANT BATTLE HAS GONE ON LONG ENOUGH AND I AM WEARY...

MY BROTHER GOT SHOT IN THE NECK YESTERDAY...WELL LAST NIGHT...AND THE AMOUNT OF FLASHBACKS TO OUR CHILDHOOD, AND OTHER PEOPLES DEATH THAT I HAVE WITNESS,WENT THROUGH MY HEAD THAT I ACTUALLY FELL TO MY KNEES BECAUSE I WAS SOO WEAK AND ILL....THAT COULD HAVE BEEN THE PHONE CALL THAT IM TIRED OF GETTING..."SUCH AND SUCH DIED"  

WHEN THE FUCK WILL THIS MAYHEM END??????

I THANK GOD FOR SPEARING MY BROTHERS LIFE AGAIN...EVEN THOUGH THE BULLET IS STILL IN HIS NECK AND THEY CANT TAKE IT OUT BECAUSE ITS TOO CLOSE TO HIS SPINE...IM THANKFUL...I WAS ON THE FLOOR IN MY BEDROOM CRYING MY GUTS OUT TO GOD JUST THANKING HIM SOO MUCH....IN THE BACK OF MY HEAD (WHICH HE HEARS AS WELL) I WAS QUESTIONING HIS METHODS WHICH I KNOW I SHOULDNT BUT IM HUMAN...I THANK HIM NONE THE LESS...

HEAVEN ONLY KNOWS THE PSYCHOLOGICAL ISSUES IM GOING THROUGH...IT SCARES THE SHIT OUT OF ME AND IM ALL ALONE IN THIS BRAIN OF MINE AND IM NOT TO BE TRUSTED...

AS MUCH AS I HAVE FAITH I DOUBT MYSELF AT TIMES AND IM WAY BETTER THAN THAT...SHIT HASN'T BE GOING VERY WELL FOR ME...YET IM DETERMINED TO PUSH MYSELF BEYOND MY LIMITS OF EXPECTATIONS....

MY MUSIC IS MY LIFE AND WHEN IM DISCOVERED BY THE "LIME LIGHT" I PRAY THE RIGHT PEOPLE ARE IN MY CORNER AND I STAY TRUE TO MYSELF LIKE IVE BEEN DOING...

MY DAD WAS PUTTING A LITTLE PRESSURE ON ME SAYING THAT I AM THE ONE TO SAVE THE FAMILY AND HE TOLD ME THIS LONG AGO ALONG WITH THE STORY OF HOW HE PRAYED TO GOD FOR SOO LONG TO HAVE ME, SO WHEN HE IS OLD I WILL BE THERE FOR HIM...AND LOOK AT ME NOW SOO FRIKKIN FAR AWAY FROM HIM...GUILT IS IN MY HEART FOR LEAVING HIM BUT DEATH WOULD HAVE CREPT IN IF I WOULD HAVE STAYED...THE LIFESTYLE I WAS LIVING WAS DESTRUCTIVE...IT WAS A PATH TO THE CITY OF NOWHERE...

WELL HERE I GO AGAIN MENTALLY DISTURBED AND TRANSFORMATION IS A MUST...

~CIAO.BLESS~

POSITIVITY!!! ~_^

HOW DOES REALITY GET REALER????

IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE BECAUSE IT JUST GOT EVEN REALER TO ME...I'M FOCUS YET DISTRACTED AND MY INSPIRATION COMES AND GOES AS IT PLEASES...MY ADOLESCENT MIND TAKES FULL CONTROL WHEN IT WANTS TO AND CHAOS RULES THE OUTER BODY...AM I THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL????NOPE...I'M NOT EVIL I JUST GET FED UP AND PISSED OFF WHEN I SHOULD BE ASKING GOD FOR GUIDANCE.

THIS LIFE OF MINE IS GREAT TO A CERTAIN POINT...ONCE I SWITCH JOBS I THINK ILL BE ABLE TO PROGRESS MORE...MY MIND IS SCREWED RIGHT NOW BECAUSE OF 2 REASONS AND ONE OF THOSE IS MY JOB AND THE OTHER IS MY LOVE LIFE...AND BOTH OF THOSE FALL UNDER THE CATEGORY OF *FUCKING SUCKS*

IM NOT RUSHING ANYTHING BUT I SURE DO WISH IT WOULD HURRY UP...LMAO

I'VE BEEN WRITING SOME NEW SONGS AND JUST BEEN TRYING TO KEEP A POSITIVE LOOK OUT BUT THIS FORM OF DEPRESSION IS EATING AT MY SOUL AND THIS SHIT ACTUALLY HURTS...

I WAS THINKING OF MOVING BACK TO BOSTON JUST TO START OVER AND EVEN THOUGH IT WOULD HELP, I DONT WANT TO...I WANNA MAKE IT WORK WHERE IM AT AND NOT RETURN HOME A FAILURE BY WHOEVER STANDARDS INCLUDING MINE...WHEN I WAS TALKING TO MY DAD HE TOLD ME TO DROP EVERYTHING AND COME HOME, I REPEAT, COME HOME....

WHO THE HELL WANTS TO GO BACK HOME LIVING WITH THEIR PARENTS LIKE THE ENTERTAINER FROM "I LOVE MONEY" AFTER I HAVENT BEEN LIVING WITH THEM FOR YEARS, PLUS THE FACT THAT THEIR MINISTERS...I WOULD BE IN CONSTANT DEBATE ABOUT EVERYTHING...LETS NOT MESS UP THIS FINALLY FIXED RELATIONSHIP WE GOT GOING WITH ME COMING HOME AND NOT BEING WHAT THEY EXPECT...

EXPECTATIONS FROM OTHERS ARE OF NO CONCERN TO ME...I HOPE PEOPLE DONT THINK I NEED TO PROVE MYSELF TO THEM WHICH I DONT AND NEVER WILL...

MY PURPOSE IS HIGH AND MIGHTY AND ALL THE FOLLY OF THE WORLD COULDNT KEEP ME FROM SUCCEEDING...POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS IS A HABIT ONE GREAT HABIT I POSSESS AND IM NOT GIVING UP...I SPEAK CHANGE IN MY LIFE...THAT CHANGE TO THE HIGHER NEXT LEVEL OF PROSPERITY...



~CIAO.BLESS~