wow...soo many things to get inspiration from yet still semi-miserable about a couple of things...
i was at a bar yesterday and met some cool people who's in a band and i realized how band i want my music career to kick off...
but there's a few things i need to sort out first and get my mind right on the issues...
from work to home to friendships to everything and everywhere, its time for my change to begin and I'm glad that I've been practicing my guitar which gives me comfort and I'm sticking with it this time...
i have to inspire myself considering that alot of shit is an illusion and I'm not truly happy which is my reality...
lets see where this change in atmosphere takes me...I'm soo ready to see who is still standing by me when this foggy air clears...
TOO MUCH TALENT IN ME TOO JUST LET IT SLIP AWAY...TIME TO TAKE ON THE WORLD AND ALL ITS UGLYS!!!!
~ciao.bless~
Monday, September 29, 2008
YIKES!!!!!
Lyrics to: THIS LOVE
I, I,
I can see it in your eyes
Taste it in our first kiss
Stranger in this lonely town (this lonely town)
Save me from my emptiness (save me)
You took my hand
You told me it would be ok
I trusted you to hold my heart
Now fate is pulling me away, from you
Even if I leave you now
And it breaks my heart
Even if I'm not around
I won't give in
I can't give up
On this love
You've become a piece of me
Makes me sick to even think
Of mornings waking up alone
Searching for you in my sheets
Don't fade, away
Even if I leave you now
And it breaks my heart
Even if I'm not around
I won't give in (won't give in)
I can't give up (can't give up)
On this love
I can't just close the door (on this love)
I never felt anything like this before(like this love)
Tell me the truth no matter what we're going through
Will you hold on too 'cause
Even if I leave you now
And it breaks my heart
Even if I'm not around
I won't give in
I can't give up
On this love
Even if I leave you now (leave you now)
And it breaks my heart
Even if I'm not around (not around)
I won't give in (won't give in)
I can't give up (can't give up)
I won't give in (won't give in)
I can't give up (can't give up)
On this love
~THE VERONICAS
I, I,
I can see it in your eyes
Taste it in our first kiss
Stranger in this lonely town (this lonely town)
Save me from my emptiness (save me)
You took my hand
You told me it would be ok
I trusted you to hold my heart
Now fate is pulling me away, from you
Even if I leave you now
And it breaks my heart
Even if I'm not around
I won't give in
I can't give up
On this love
You've become a piece of me
Makes me sick to even think
Of mornings waking up alone
Searching for you in my sheets
Don't fade, away
Even if I leave you now
And it breaks my heart
Even if I'm not around
I won't give in (won't give in)
I can't give up (can't give up)
On this love
I can't just close the door (on this love)
I never felt anything like this before(like this love)
Tell me the truth no matter what we're going through
Will you hold on too 'cause
Even if I leave you now
And it breaks my heart
Even if I'm not around
I won't give in
I can't give up
On this love
Even if I leave you now (leave you now)
And it breaks my heart
Even if I'm not around (not around)
I won't give in (won't give in)
I can't give up (can't give up)
I won't give in (won't give in)
I can't give up (can't give up)
On this love
~THE VERONICAS
TIME 2 B GONE!!!!
Lyrics to I Can't Stay Away :
This is wrongI should be gone
Yet here we lay
'Cause I can't stay away
Roses bloomIn your dirty room
I come to play
'Cause I can't stay away
No I can't stay away-ay
I'm conflictedI inhale now
I'm addictedTo this place
To you babe
I can't stay away
Can't stay away
We get up, we go down
Then we go one more round
It's wrong, they say I can't stay a-
I can't stay awayNo I can't stay a-
I can't stay away
I was numbFor you
I comeNight and day
And I can't stay away
No I can't stay away
I'm conflicted
I inhale now I'm addicted
To this place
To you babe
I can't stay away
Can't stay away
We get up, we go down
Then we go one more round
It's wrong, they say
I can't stay a- I can't stay away
No I can't stay a- I can't stay away
I wish I could Leave and never returnBaby,
I know I should But for you I'd burn
Stay away 'Cause I can't stay away-ay
I'm conflicted
I inhale now I'm addicted
To this place
To you babe
I can't stay awayCan't stay away
We get up, we go down
Then we go one more round
It's wrong, they say
I can't stay a- I can't stay away
No I can't stay a-
I can't stay away
I can't stay away
I can't stay away
I can't stay away
I can't stay away
~THE VERONICAS
This is wrongI should be gone
Yet here we lay
'Cause I can't stay away
Roses bloomIn your dirty room
I come to play
'Cause I can't stay away
No I can't stay away-ay
I'm conflictedI inhale now
I'm addictedTo this place
To you babe
I can't stay away
Can't stay away
We get up, we go down
Then we go one more round
It's wrong, they say I can't stay a-
I can't stay awayNo I can't stay a-
I can't stay away
I was numbFor you
I comeNight and day
And I can't stay away
No I can't stay away
I'm conflicted
I inhale now I'm addicted
To this place
To you babe
I can't stay away
Can't stay away
We get up, we go down
Then we go one more round
It's wrong, they say
I can't stay a- I can't stay away
No I can't stay a- I can't stay away
I wish I could Leave and never returnBaby,
I know I should But for you I'd burn
Stay away 'Cause I can't stay away-ay
I'm conflicted
I inhale now I'm addicted
To this place
To you babe
I can't stay awayCan't stay away
We get up, we go down
Then we go one more round
It's wrong, they say
I can't stay a- I can't stay away
No I can't stay a-
I can't stay away
I can't stay away
I can't stay away
I can't stay away
I can't stay away
~THE VERONICAS
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
CONFUSION!!!
I WOKE UP FEELING DEFEATED SOMEHOW, I USUALLY WAKE UP IN A SHITTY YET PLEASANT MOOD...IM NOT TOO SURE WHATS ABOUT TO HAPPEN TODAY, BUT I KNOW I DONT LIKE THIS FEELING.
SOME SHIT THAT IVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT FOR A COUPLE OF MONTHS JUST KEEPS POPPING BACK IN MY HEAD AND STR8 CONFUSING THE BITCH OUT OF ME.
IM TRYING TO KEEP MY KOOL BUT IM SEEING A MASSIVE EXPLOSION IN THE NEAR FUTURE.
COPING WITH FEELINGS UNKNOWN, LOOKING FORWARD TO THE FUTURE UNSEEN, MEETING PEOPLE WHO WILL ONLY LET ME DOWN, OLD FRIENDS RE-SURFACE WHEN NOT WANTED OR NEEDED, REJECTION, BEING SABOTAGED....I JUST DONT KNOW!!!
THE LIARS KEEP COMING AROUND, EVEN WHEN TOLD NOT TO. WHEN PUSH COMES TO SHOVE THE TRUTH SHALL BE REVEALED AND ITS GONNA GET REAL UGLY...DONT WAIT TIL THE LAST MINUTE, COME TO YOUR SENSES.
REALITY IS A BITCH AND THATS ONE BITCH YOU CANT DISMISS...
~CIAO.BLESS~
SOME SHIT THAT IVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT FOR A COUPLE OF MONTHS JUST KEEPS POPPING BACK IN MY HEAD AND STR8 CONFUSING THE BITCH OUT OF ME.
IM TRYING TO KEEP MY KOOL BUT IM SEEING A MASSIVE EXPLOSION IN THE NEAR FUTURE.
COPING WITH FEELINGS UNKNOWN, LOOKING FORWARD TO THE FUTURE UNSEEN, MEETING PEOPLE WHO WILL ONLY LET ME DOWN, OLD FRIENDS RE-SURFACE WHEN NOT WANTED OR NEEDED, REJECTION, BEING SABOTAGED....I JUST DONT KNOW!!!
THE LIARS KEEP COMING AROUND, EVEN WHEN TOLD NOT TO. WHEN PUSH COMES TO SHOVE THE TRUTH SHALL BE REVEALED AND ITS GONNA GET REAL UGLY...DONT WAIT TIL THE LAST MINUTE, COME TO YOUR SENSES.
REALITY IS A BITCH AND THATS ONE BITCH YOU CANT DISMISS...
~CIAO.BLESS~
Monday, September 22, 2008
BACK TO THE GUITAR!!!
ILL BE STARTING MY GUITAR LESSONS IN 2WKS AND IM KILLER EXCITED SOO I DECIDED TO GO DUST OFF THE ACOUSTIC AND ELECTRIC YESTERDAY.
AND IT FELT SOOO FRIKKIN GOOD IN MY HANDS!!!!!
SO I TOOK THE ACOUSTIC TO WORK SO I CAN TUNE IT AND PRACTICE UP BEFORE I GO TO MY CLASS AND LOOK MAJOR STOOOOPID...LOL
ITS GONNA TAKE ALOT OF HARD WORK AND DEDICATION ONCE AGAIN BUT IM TRULY READY, THIS WILL HELP ME MAJOR WITH MY SINGING CAREER AS WELL SOO IM DEF BOUT TO GIVE IT MY ALL AND WAY MUCH MORE.
CHANGE IS ALWAYS IN PROCESS AS I LIVE AND WHERE EVER I GO ITS GONNA BE A WILD JOURNEY OF WHAT I MAKE IT.
GOD HASNT LIMITED ME TO 1 TALENT IM BLESSED WITH MANY AND IM GRATEFUL AND EXCITED ABOUT MY FUTURE...
LETS GET IT!!!!!!
~CIAO.BLESS~
AND IT FELT SOOO FRIKKIN GOOD IN MY HANDS!!!!!
SO I TOOK THE ACOUSTIC TO WORK SO I CAN TUNE IT AND PRACTICE UP BEFORE I GO TO MY CLASS AND LOOK MAJOR STOOOOPID...LOL
ITS GONNA TAKE ALOT OF HARD WORK AND DEDICATION ONCE AGAIN BUT IM TRULY READY, THIS WILL HELP ME MAJOR WITH MY SINGING CAREER AS WELL SOO IM DEF BOUT TO GIVE IT MY ALL AND WAY MUCH MORE.
CHANGE IS ALWAYS IN PROCESS AS I LIVE AND WHERE EVER I GO ITS GONNA BE A WILD JOURNEY OF WHAT I MAKE IT.
GOD HASNT LIMITED ME TO 1 TALENT IM BLESSED WITH MANY AND IM GRATEFUL AND EXCITED ABOUT MY FUTURE...
LETS GET IT!!!!!!
~CIAO.BLESS~
Friday, September 19, 2008
INSIGHT...TAKE IT & GROW!!!
The life u live, how will u live it?
According to others sayings or according to ur own knowledge?
Take what others tell u and apply to the positive light that is within.
God has and always will provide and protect you. He instored knowledge into you and surrounded you with people and things that will supply you with positive and negative knowledge.
Be concerned and wise on which is which.
The negative can camophlage itself to be positive and destroy your life.
Your life depends on your knowledge to protect it, as a child depends on mommy to know right from wrong.
So look and then really see.
Looking and seeing is two totally different things. To look is to look on the surface of anything which only gives off an appearance, which usually is an illusion.
To see is to visualize in depth seeing the TRUE core of anything that will open and challenge ur mind to decide what exactly it is that you are seeing.
Seeing is not believe, only to fools it is. You don't see the wind but u believe it exists, so clearly seeing is not believing.
~me
~ciao.bless~
According to others sayings or according to ur own knowledge?
Take what others tell u and apply to the positive light that is within.
God has and always will provide and protect you. He instored knowledge into you and surrounded you with people and things that will supply you with positive and negative knowledge.
Be concerned and wise on which is which.
The negative can camophlage itself to be positive and destroy your life.
Your life depends on your knowledge to protect it, as a child depends on mommy to know right from wrong.
So look and then really see.
Looking and seeing is two totally different things. To look is to look on the surface of anything which only gives off an appearance, which usually is an illusion.
To see is to visualize in depth seeing the TRUE core of anything that will open and challenge ur mind to decide what exactly it is that you are seeing.
Seeing is not believe, only to fools it is. You don't see the wind but u believe it exists, so clearly seeing is not believing.
~me
~ciao.bless~
UNDO MY SANITY!!!
SANITY slowly eases its way out as I reject it with a smile. Insanity violently starts to take full
effect as I pull it in with a grin. Its weird, unusual, and comforting how there is a thin line
between, yet no difference. One different feeling that seperates these opposites. While insanity
makes me more free. I now felt trap when sanity was omnipotent. Is insanity my destiny to
survive in my own world?, for the outside world will force upon me medication to direct my
sanity to its proper place. I will and shall not let them try to fix what I feel is right.Sanity is the
enemy which I am out to destroy, a fight to the death. For I am free to roam in insanity. The air
here is fresh and I am carefree to do as I please. No regrets, no thoughts, no remorse, no worry.
Me, myself, and I, in paradise to stir up chaos and raise havoc to the proud prominent level it
should be respected. If I am not insane than I shall die trying. The weight of the world is upon us and there is enough greif and tribulation to convert the sane ones to insanity voluntarily. Its such
an easy way to live, to do as you want, think as you want, feel as you want. While others try to
comprhend the real worlds mysteries, I choose to leave it be and let it burn in its own ruins.
~me
~ciao.bless~
effect as I pull it in with a grin. Its weird, unusual, and comforting how there is a thin line
between, yet no difference. One different feeling that seperates these opposites. While insanity
makes me more free. I now felt trap when sanity was omnipotent. Is insanity my destiny to
survive in my own world?, for the outside world will force upon me medication to direct my
sanity to its proper place. I will and shall not let them try to fix what I feel is right.Sanity is the
enemy which I am out to destroy, a fight to the death. For I am free to roam in insanity. The air
here is fresh and I am carefree to do as I please. No regrets, no thoughts, no remorse, no worry.
Me, myself, and I, in paradise to stir up chaos and raise havoc to the proud prominent level it
should be respected. If I am not insane than I shall die trying. The weight of the world is upon us and there is enough greif and tribulation to convert the sane ones to insanity voluntarily. Its such
an easy way to live, to do as you want, think as you want, feel as you want. While others try to
comprhend the real worlds mysteries, I choose to leave it be and let it burn in its own ruins.
~me
~ciao.bless~
Thursday, September 18, 2008
FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!
SO HERE'S WHAT I WOULD LIKE TODAY, CONSIDERING THE FACT THAT I MIGHT BE GETTING OFF WORK EARLY...YAY!!!
SO THIS GUY WHO SOLD ME MY CAR WORKS AT ANOTHER DEALERSHIP AND TOLD ME I CAN COME IN AND TRADE...
NOW THIS FUCKING LOSER IS KNOWN FOR FLIPPIN LYING SOO I CANT TRUST HIM AT ALL WHATSOEVER....BITCH!!!
ANYWHO SO I WAS GONNA BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF HIM ONE DAY CUZ I WAS FED UP WITH HIS LIES....SO I HAD TO PLAY NICE AND TOLD HIM TO COME SEE ME AND LO AND BEHOLD *NO CALL NO SHOW* ...ISNT THAT STR8 TERMINATION FROM A JOB???
I HAD ON MY SWEAT SUIT AND HAIR BACK CRAZY VASELINE ON FACE AND MY EVER SO FAITHFUL CHUCKS....OL SKOOL STYLE...LOL
SO I JUST *TRIED* TO ERASE HIS NUMBER, WHICH I THOUGHT I DID BUT MY PHONE IS SOOO FRIKKIN JACKED UP *THANX SHELDON* THAT WHEN HE CALLED HIS NAME POPPED UP AND IM LIKE "WTF U WANT???" STR8 GHETTO FABO ON HIS ASS
SOO LONG STORY SHORT...IM GONNA GO UP THERE AND IF I DONT WALK OFF THAT LOT WITH THE FLIPPIN CAR I WANT......*LAUGHING*......IMMA FUCK THAT BITCH ASS NIGGA UP AT HIS FUCKING JOB AND GET HIS ASS FIRED!!!!!!*SMILE*
SOOO YEAH YEAH YEAH MAYBE THAT IS GHETTO AND NOT LADY LIKE BUT IM FED UP OF FALSE PROMISES AND UNTIL I MAKE MY STAMP THESE SO CALLED "MEN" WILL TRY THE SAME BULLSHIT OVER AND OVER AGAIN....
IM LEAVING MY MARK ON EVERY MAN THAT THINKS THEY CAN TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME OR TRY TO PLAY ME.....FUCK THAT ITS SOOO NOT GOING DOWN LIKE THAT....
OK....... SOOOO......... AFTER THAT IM GONNA HAVE A DRINK FOR SATISFACTION AND GO SEE MY BFFF AND BE RETARDED WITH HIM TONIGHT....*ADJUSTING PANTS* YUP!!! SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD DAY TO ME...LMAO...IM READY!
~CIAO.BLESS~
SO THIS GUY WHO SOLD ME MY CAR WORKS AT ANOTHER DEALERSHIP AND TOLD ME I CAN COME IN AND TRADE...
NOW THIS FUCKING LOSER IS KNOWN FOR FLIPPIN LYING SOO I CANT TRUST HIM AT ALL WHATSOEVER....BITCH!!!
ANYWHO SO I WAS GONNA BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF HIM ONE DAY CUZ I WAS FED UP WITH HIS LIES....SO I HAD TO PLAY NICE AND TOLD HIM TO COME SEE ME AND LO AND BEHOLD *NO CALL NO SHOW* ...ISNT THAT STR8 TERMINATION FROM A JOB???
I HAD ON MY SWEAT SUIT AND HAIR BACK CRAZY VASELINE ON FACE AND MY EVER SO FAITHFUL CHUCKS....OL SKOOL STYLE...LOL
SO I JUST *TRIED* TO ERASE HIS NUMBER, WHICH I THOUGHT I DID BUT MY PHONE IS SOOO FRIKKIN JACKED UP *THANX SHELDON* THAT WHEN HE CALLED HIS NAME POPPED UP AND IM LIKE "WTF U WANT???" STR8 GHETTO FABO ON HIS ASS
SOO LONG STORY SHORT...IM GONNA GO UP THERE AND IF I DONT WALK OFF THAT LOT WITH THE FLIPPIN CAR I WANT......*LAUGHING*......IMMA FUCK THAT BITCH ASS NIGGA UP AT HIS FUCKING JOB AND GET HIS ASS FIRED!!!!!!*SMILE*
SOOO YEAH YEAH YEAH MAYBE THAT IS GHETTO AND NOT LADY LIKE BUT IM FED UP OF FALSE PROMISES AND UNTIL I MAKE MY STAMP THESE SO CALLED "MEN" WILL TRY THE SAME BULLSHIT OVER AND OVER AGAIN....
IM LEAVING MY MARK ON EVERY MAN THAT THINKS THEY CAN TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME OR TRY TO PLAY ME.....FUCK THAT ITS SOOO NOT GOING DOWN LIKE THAT....
OK....... SOOOO......... AFTER THAT IM GONNA HAVE A DRINK FOR SATISFACTION AND GO SEE MY BFFF AND BE RETARDED WITH HIM TONIGHT....*ADJUSTING PANTS* YUP!!! SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD DAY TO ME...LMAO...IM READY!
~CIAO.BLESS~
THATS EXACTLY WHAT I GET!!!!!
NO SIR, WELL I DONT WANNA BE THE BLAME
NOT ANYMORE
ITS YOUR TURN, SO TAKE A SEAT
WE'RE SETTLING THE FINAL SCORE
AND WHY DO WE LIKE TO HURT SOO MUCH
I CANT DECIDE YOU HAVE MADE IT HARDER
JUST TO GO ON
AND WHY, ALL THE POSSIBILITIES
WELL, I WAS WRONG
THATS WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU LET YOUR HEART WIN, WHOA
THATS WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU LET YOUR HEAR WIN, WHOA
I DROWNED OUT ALL MY SENSE
WITH THE SOUND OF ITS BEATING
AND THATS WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU LET YOUR HEART WIN, WHOA
I WONDER, HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO FEEL
WHEN YOUR NOT HERE
CAUSE I BURNED EVERY BRIDGE I EVER BUILT
WHEN YOU WERE HERE
I STILL TRY TO HOLD ON TO SILLY THINGS
I NEVER LEARN
OH WHY, ALL THE POSSIBILITIES
IM SURE YOU'VE HEARD
CHORUS
PAIN MAKE YOUR WAY TO ME, TO ME
AND ILL ALWAYS BE JUST SOO INVITING
IF I EVER START TO THINK STRAIGHT
THIS HEART WILL START A RIOT IN ME
LETS START,START,HEY
WHY DO WE LIKE TO HURT SO MUCH
OH, WHY DO WE LIKE TO HURT SO MUCH
THATS WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU LET YOUR HEART WIN, WHOA
THATS WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU LET YOUR HEART WIN, WHOA
THATS WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU LET YOUR HEART WIN, WHOA
NOW I CANT TRUST MYSELF
WITH ANYTHING BUT THIS
AND THATS WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU LET YOUR HEART WIN, WHOA
~PARAMORE~
NOT ANYMORE
ITS YOUR TURN, SO TAKE A SEAT
WE'RE SETTLING THE FINAL SCORE
AND WHY DO WE LIKE TO HURT SOO MUCH
I CANT DECIDE YOU HAVE MADE IT HARDER
JUST TO GO ON
AND WHY, ALL THE POSSIBILITIES
WELL, I WAS WRONG
THATS WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU LET YOUR HEART WIN, WHOA
THATS WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU LET YOUR HEAR WIN, WHOA
I DROWNED OUT ALL MY SENSE
WITH THE SOUND OF ITS BEATING
AND THATS WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU LET YOUR HEART WIN, WHOA
I WONDER, HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO FEEL
WHEN YOUR NOT HERE
CAUSE I BURNED EVERY BRIDGE I EVER BUILT
WHEN YOU WERE HERE
I STILL TRY TO HOLD ON TO SILLY THINGS
I NEVER LEARN
OH WHY, ALL THE POSSIBILITIES
IM SURE YOU'VE HEARD
CHORUS
PAIN MAKE YOUR WAY TO ME, TO ME
AND ILL ALWAYS BE JUST SOO INVITING
IF I EVER START TO THINK STRAIGHT
THIS HEART WILL START A RIOT IN ME
LETS START,START,HEY
WHY DO WE LIKE TO HURT SO MUCH
OH, WHY DO WE LIKE TO HURT SO MUCH
THATS WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU LET YOUR HEART WIN, WHOA
THATS WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU LET YOUR HEART WIN, WHOA
THATS WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU LET YOUR HEART WIN, WHOA
NOW I CANT TRUST MYSELF
WITH ANYTHING BUT THIS
AND THATS WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU LET YOUR HEART WIN, WHOA
~PARAMORE~
FINGER MY MACARONI....
I WANTED TO WHOP SUM DAMN ASS AROUND THIS BITCH TODAY!!!!!
ALL I WAS THINKING WAS SCARY MOVIES "MY GERMS"
I MADE SOME MACARONI A TUNA...SHUTTTUP...I LIKED IT DAMMIT...AND I LEFT SUM IN THE POT FOR LATER...I WAS DOGGING IT AND I KNEW I WANTED TO DOGG IT AGAIN LATER...
ONE OF MY DAMN CLIENT WITH HER NOSE PICKING FINGERS/WHERE BLOOD OUTLINES THE CUTICLES MOST DAYS/WHO DOESNT LIKE TO SHOWER DECIDED TO STICK HER HAND IN THE POT AND PICK UP A *HANDFUL*(WHY A HANDFUL???WHY???) OF "MY" FOOD AND FORCED IT DOWN HER THROAT AND SOME PIECES FELL BACK INTO THE POT AS WELL...
I WAS STANDING THERE IN THE HALLWAY BOUT TO THROW UP MY INTESTINES(LARGE N SMALL) MY *STINKFACE* WAS SOO VERY INTENSELY STRONG *VOMIT*
THEN SHE TURNS HER HEAD SLIGHTLY TO LOOK AT ME AND OFFERED ME SOME FROM HER HANDS *BODY QUIVERS IN DISGUST*
IM ALWAYS HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY BUT I WAS SOOO CONFUSED AND JUST GOT DUMBFOUNDED AND I TURNED AWAY LIKE I JUST SEEN A GHOST AND TOOK SOME PAIN KILLERS.....
I WENT TO GO CHECK THE DAMAGE AT THE CRIME SCENE AN HOUR LATER AND IT WAS BRUTAL AND I WAS RANTING AND JUST CLEANED THE CRAP UP...
I HAVE TO KEEP IN MIND THAT SHE'S MENTALLY ILL BUT DAMMIT SHE KNEW BETTER THAN TO *FINGER MY MACARONI*
SUMBITCH!!! IM STILL MAD!!!!!!
~CIAO.BLESS~
ALL I WAS THINKING WAS SCARY MOVIES "MY GERMS"
I MADE SOME MACARONI A TUNA...SHUTTTUP...I LIKED IT DAMMIT...AND I LEFT SUM IN THE POT FOR LATER...I WAS DOGGING IT AND I KNEW I WANTED TO DOGG IT AGAIN LATER...
ONE OF MY DAMN CLIENT WITH HER NOSE PICKING FINGERS/WHERE BLOOD OUTLINES THE CUTICLES MOST DAYS/WHO DOESNT LIKE TO SHOWER DECIDED TO STICK HER HAND IN THE POT AND PICK UP A *HANDFUL*(WHY A HANDFUL???WHY???) OF "MY" FOOD AND FORCED IT DOWN HER THROAT AND SOME PIECES FELL BACK INTO THE POT AS WELL...
I WAS STANDING THERE IN THE HALLWAY BOUT TO THROW UP MY INTESTINES(LARGE N SMALL) MY *STINKFACE* WAS SOO VERY INTENSELY STRONG *VOMIT*
THEN SHE TURNS HER HEAD SLIGHTLY TO LOOK AT ME AND OFFERED ME SOME FROM HER HANDS *BODY QUIVERS IN DISGUST*
IM ALWAYS HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY BUT I WAS SOOO CONFUSED AND JUST GOT DUMBFOUNDED AND I TURNED AWAY LIKE I JUST SEEN A GHOST AND TOOK SOME PAIN KILLERS.....
I WENT TO GO CHECK THE DAMAGE AT THE CRIME SCENE AN HOUR LATER AND IT WAS BRUTAL AND I WAS RANTING AND JUST CLEANED THE CRAP UP...
I HAVE TO KEEP IN MIND THAT SHE'S MENTALLY ILL BUT DAMMIT SHE KNEW BETTER THAN TO *FINGER MY MACARONI*
SUMBITCH!!! IM STILL MAD!!!!!!
~CIAO.BLESS~
WOWZERS!!!!!!
AS I WAS DOING MY HAIR FOR FRIKKIN HOURS, MY FRIEND WAS TELLING ME HOW HER HUSBAND WAS CHEATING ON HER WITH A CLOSE CO-WORKER...YIKES!!!!
SO THE CHICK TOLD HER AND SET HIM UP AND ALL HELL BROKE LOSE...MY GAAAAAD...BREAKING SHIT WITH A BAT TYPE CRAZY...BIRDS OF A FEATHER AND I LOVE THAT TRICK...
NOW IN THE RIOT AND HEAT OF IT ALL SHE ENDED UP BREAKING SOME OF HER STUFF IN THE PROCESS WHICH I FOUND TO BE FUNNY...CRAZY BITCH!!!!!!!
SHE WENT TO CHURCH AND TESTIFIED TO GET IT OFF HER CHEST AND MOVE ON WHEN HER PASTOR WAS TRYING TO HIT ON HER...SEEING THAT SHE IS SINGLE NOW AND HE WAS ON THE PROWL...LOL
THIS MONTH REALLY WASNT GETTING BETTER FOR HER WHEN SHE FOUND OUT SHE WAS PREGNANT...*ICING ON CAKE* SHE IS TOTALLY ABOUT TO LOOSE IT...
I TRIED TO BE POSITIVE FOR HER BUT SHE WAS SOOO FRIKKIN DOWN IT WAS SCARY, SHE CAME TO MY JOB TO JUST CHILL AND CLEAR HER MIND AND JUST TALK FACE TO FACE...
SHE CRIED...DAMMIT I CRIED...*IICK* I WAS CRYING FOR MYSELF AS WELL...BUT SHE LEFT SMILING SO I SAID SOMETHING RIGHT...WHICH IM GOOD FOR CHEERING OTHER PEOPLE UP BUT NOT MYSELF...WEIRD!!!!!
NOW ALL I CAN DO IS WAIT AND SEE WAT HAPPENS.....I PRAY SHE'LL BE OK!
LIFE IS WAY TOOO COMPLICATED.....
~CIAO.BLESS~
SO THE CHICK TOLD HER AND SET HIM UP AND ALL HELL BROKE LOSE...MY GAAAAAD...BREAKING SHIT WITH A BAT TYPE CRAZY...BIRDS OF A FEATHER AND I LOVE THAT TRICK...
NOW IN THE RIOT AND HEAT OF IT ALL SHE ENDED UP BREAKING SOME OF HER STUFF IN THE PROCESS WHICH I FOUND TO BE FUNNY...CRAZY BITCH!!!!!!!
SHE WENT TO CHURCH AND TESTIFIED TO GET IT OFF HER CHEST AND MOVE ON WHEN HER PASTOR WAS TRYING TO HIT ON HER...SEEING THAT SHE IS SINGLE NOW AND HE WAS ON THE PROWL...LOL
THIS MONTH REALLY WASNT GETTING BETTER FOR HER WHEN SHE FOUND OUT SHE WAS PREGNANT...*ICING ON CAKE* SHE IS TOTALLY ABOUT TO LOOSE IT...
I TRIED TO BE POSITIVE FOR HER BUT SHE WAS SOOO FRIKKIN DOWN IT WAS SCARY, SHE CAME TO MY JOB TO JUST CHILL AND CLEAR HER MIND AND JUST TALK FACE TO FACE...
SHE CRIED...DAMMIT I CRIED...*IICK* I WAS CRYING FOR MYSELF AS WELL...BUT SHE LEFT SMILING SO I SAID SOMETHING RIGHT...WHICH IM GOOD FOR CHEERING OTHER PEOPLE UP BUT NOT MYSELF...WEIRD!!!!!
NOW ALL I CAN DO IS WAIT AND SEE WAT HAPPENS.....I PRAY SHE'LL BE OK!
LIFE IS WAY TOOO COMPLICATED.....
~CIAO.BLESS~
MY EMO'S FLEXXING WITH ME!!!
I WAS TALKING TO A FRIEND OF MINE AND SHE SAID THAT SUM SHITS ABOUT TO POP OFF IN MY LIFE...IT WAS WEIRD CUZ I HAD THE SAME FEELING.
MONDAY I WAS SOOO FRIKKIN DOWN I WAS PRACTICALLY OUT OF IT NOT WANTING TO TALK TO ANYONE...BUT 1 PERSON
BUT TRUTH BE TOLD I WAS REALLY MAD AT MYSELF FOR NOT DOING WHAT I NEEDED TO DO WITH MY MUSIC AND SCHOOL...BUT WHEN I WAS TALKING TO MY FRIEND SHE SAID I NEED TO SEPARATE MYSELF AND GO DO IT BECAUSE THE SHIT IM ABOUT TO ENCOUNTER IM BOUT TO NEED A SAFE HAVEN ASAP...
IT GOT ME KINDA SHOOK BUT I BELIEVED HER AND IM FIGURING SHIT OUT SLOWLY BUT SURELY AND I PRAY THAT IT WONT BE WHAT I THINK IT IS...
IT FEELS LIKE ROCK BOTTOM OR SOMEWHAT CLOSE TO IT...NOW ITS JUST TIME TO PROVE MYSELF WORTHY OF MY OWN ACCEPTANCE....SOO MUCH TO FRIKKIN TO DO AND IM ALL BY MYSELF TO DO IT...
IM READY, DETERMINED, ANXIOUS, AND SOMEWHAT FRIGHTENED BY MY FUTURE BUT ITS MINE FOR THE TAKING AND NOBODY IS TAKING THIS TITLE...
NOBODY...
MY EMO'S ARE BOUNCING OFF WALLS AND STIRRING UP CONFUSION AT TIMES...BUT I CANT LET IT GET THE BEST OF ME...
WISH ME KNOWLEDGE,WISDOM, AND UNDERSTANDING ON MY JOURNEY TO THE TOP CUZ ITS ABOUT TO GET REAL UGLY!!!
~CIAO.BLESS~
MONDAY I WAS SOOO FRIKKIN DOWN I WAS PRACTICALLY OUT OF IT NOT WANTING TO TALK TO ANYONE...BUT 1 PERSON
BUT TRUTH BE TOLD I WAS REALLY MAD AT MYSELF FOR NOT DOING WHAT I NEEDED TO DO WITH MY MUSIC AND SCHOOL...BUT WHEN I WAS TALKING TO MY FRIEND SHE SAID I NEED TO SEPARATE MYSELF AND GO DO IT BECAUSE THE SHIT IM ABOUT TO ENCOUNTER IM BOUT TO NEED A SAFE HAVEN ASAP...
IT GOT ME KINDA SHOOK BUT I BELIEVED HER AND IM FIGURING SHIT OUT SLOWLY BUT SURELY AND I PRAY THAT IT WONT BE WHAT I THINK IT IS...
IT FEELS LIKE ROCK BOTTOM OR SOMEWHAT CLOSE TO IT...NOW ITS JUST TIME TO PROVE MYSELF WORTHY OF MY OWN ACCEPTANCE....SOO MUCH TO FRIKKIN TO DO AND IM ALL BY MYSELF TO DO IT...
IM READY, DETERMINED, ANXIOUS, AND SOMEWHAT FRIGHTENED BY MY FUTURE BUT ITS MINE FOR THE TAKING AND NOBODY IS TAKING THIS TITLE...
NOBODY...
MY EMO'S ARE BOUNCING OFF WALLS AND STIRRING UP CONFUSION AT TIMES...BUT I CANT LET IT GET THE BEST OF ME...
WISH ME KNOWLEDGE,WISDOM, AND UNDERSTANDING ON MY JOURNEY TO THE TOP CUZ ITS ABOUT TO GET REAL UGLY!!!
~CIAO.BLESS~
LIARS!!!
POINT STR8 I HATE THEM!!!!!!!!!!!
WHY LIE WHEN U NEED TO LIE TO KEEEP UP WITH THAT LIE...AND SO ON AND SO ON...
AFTER A WHILE YOUR WHOLE LIFE BECOMES A LIE AND THEN YOU'VE JUST PLAIN LOST YOURSELF...TRAGEDY I SAY!
IVE BEEN LIED TO SOOO MANY TIMES, IM TO THE POINT WHERE I BELIEVE NOTHING ANYONE COULD SAY TO ME...I JUST WAIT FOR THEM TO PROVE IT AND I JUST MIGHT BELIEVE THEM...I SAID MIGHT!
SO PLEASE STOP BEING FAKE AND TELL YOUR FRIEND SHE/HE LOOKS FAT...THAT SHIT DONT MATCH, YOUR BREATHE IS HOTT....YOU KNOW REAL SHIT...
TELL THE TRUTH AND YOU WILL BE REWARDED...I DNT KNOW WITH WHAT BUT JUST FRIKKIN DO IT DAMMIT!!!!
LOL...IM SERIOUS!
~CIAO.BLESS~
WHY LIE WHEN U NEED TO LIE TO KEEEP UP WITH THAT LIE...AND SO ON AND SO ON...
AFTER A WHILE YOUR WHOLE LIFE BECOMES A LIE AND THEN YOU'VE JUST PLAIN LOST YOURSELF...TRAGEDY I SAY!
IVE BEEN LIED TO SOOO MANY TIMES, IM TO THE POINT WHERE I BELIEVE NOTHING ANYONE COULD SAY TO ME...I JUST WAIT FOR THEM TO PROVE IT AND I JUST MIGHT BELIEVE THEM...I SAID MIGHT!
SO PLEASE STOP BEING FAKE AND TELL YOUR FRIEND SHE/HE LOOKS FAT...THAT SHIT DONT MATCH, YOUR BREATHE IS HOTT....YOU KNOW REAL SHIT...
TELL THE TRUTH AND YOU WILL BE REWARDED...I DNT KNOW WITH WHAT BUT JUST FRIKKIN DO IT DAMMIT!!!!
LOL...IM SERIOUS!
~CIAO.BLESS~
Monday, September 8, 2008
the OD day that didnt go my way!!!!
*this is actually something that never happened to me personally but i wrote it like it did because it does hit somewhat close to the heart....im a writer i can flip it and revese it..*
i had a shitty day and the year was once upon a time not long ago...it was a horrible year, a horrible month, a horrible day, a worst of an hour...
came home and was fed up and ready for death to swoop me away to watever afterlife is after this one that i was eager to get rid of...
im a survivor of my own suicide and was mad as fuck when i was revived...screaming NO!!!! with my first breath of this world once again..
i wanted to die and stay dead...i took a whole bottle of viccodin and smiled myself to sleep woke up in the hospital feeling defeat....
crying my eyes out knowing they'll give me meds and psychiatrists...more probations and therapists....thats why i wanted to end this shit...
the world of woe im forced to call home...wishing i was dead and free to roam alone...
im still here...
~ciao~
i had a shitty day and the year was once upon a time not long ago...it was a horrible year, a horrible month, a horrible day, a worst of an hour...
came home and was fed up and ready for death to swoop me away to watever afterlife is after this one that i was eager to get rid of...
im a survivor of my own suicide and was mad as fuck when i was revived...screaming NO!!!! with my first breath of this world once again..
i wanted to die and stay dead...i took a whole bottle of viccodin and smiled myself to sleep woke up in the hospital feeling defeat....
crying my eyes out knowing they'll give me meds and psychiatrists...more probations and therapists....thats why i wanted to end this shit...
the world of woe im forced to call home...wishing i was dead and free to roam alone...
im still here...
~ciao~
when will he realize???
we are best friends to the utmost, my feelings for him is too much to bare.
we do everything a great couple would do but we don't have the title...we r not normal at all and we like that we stand out in a massive crowd. he said he could never be faithful to me and it wouldn't work....he's being faithful now so why couldn't he be faithful if we was together???
he also says he breaks up with girls and don't want to be their friend after and he doesn't want to put me through that...but he says he loves me and I KNOW he is in love with me but it could never work.... seriously??? this shit is trippin me out and I'm sticking around for nothing, i find myself stuck not wanting to move or distance myself from him...therefore i make it worst on both ends...
I LOVE YOU flows from our mouths like alcohol (FUCK WATER)and we drink alot of it... its simple to feel comfortable when near each other...never a half a second of silence...always down for watever with each other...I'm trying to be content with this situation but i find myself feeling unappreciated...
we greet each other every morning with a text message...we talk everyday via telephone,email,myspace,facebook...shit its like we have no other friends just each other yet we cant be together even when we already are together...such an oxymoron that moron is...
brokenhearted for way too long and i think this is what i chose for me cuz i don't want to leave him...I'm satisfied with wat i have even though i could have better...he's the male version of me and what girl doesn't want that in their life...play fights endlessly, great intense conversation, equally insane, cuddling, kisses galore, immaculate sex each time we please each other...i knew it was too good to be true...its killer good with sum truth bout not the whole truth...
my thing is i think he's scared of wat could possibly bloom from this and he doesn't want to change, and change is not expected from him...i wouldn't change one thing about him...he's not perfect and i fucking love him either way...
brokenhearted for way too long and i don't know how to let go....^_^v
~ciao~
we do everything a great couple would do but we don't have the title...we r not normal at all and we like that we stand out in a massive crowd. he said he could never be faithful to me and it wouldn't work....he's being faithful now so why couldn't he be faithful if we was together???
he also says he breaks up with girls and don't want to be their friend after and he doesn't want to put me through that...but he says he loves me and I KNOW he is in love with me but it could never work.... seriously??? this shit is trippin me out and I'm sticking around for nothing, i find myself stuck not wanting to move or distance myself from him...therefore i make it worst on both ends...
I LOVE YOU flows from our mouths like alcohol (FUCK WATER)and we drink alot of it... its simple to feel comfortable when near each other...never a half a second of silence...always down for watever with each other...I'm trying to be content with this situation but i find myself feeling unappreciated...
we greet each other every morning with a text message...we talk everyday via telephone,email,myspace,facebook...shit its like we have no other friends just each other yet we cant be together even when we already are together...such an oxymoron that moron is...
brokenhearted for way too long and i think this is what i chose for me cuz i don't want to leave him...I'm satisfied with wat i have even though i could have better...he's the male version of me and what girl doesn't want that in their life...play fights endlessly, great intense conversation, equally insane, cuddling, kisses galore, immaculate sex each time we please each other...i knew it was too good to be true...its killer good with sum truth bout not the whole truth...
my thing is i think he's scared of wat could possibly bloom from this and he doesn't want to change, and change is not expected from him...i wouldn't change one thing about him...he's not perfect and i fucking love him either way...
brokenhearted for way too long and i don't know how to let go....^_^v
~ciao~
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