HOW DOES REALITY GET REALER????
IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE BECAUSE IT JUST GOT EVEN REALER TO ME...I'M FOCUS YET DISTRACTED AND MY INSPIRATION COMES AND GOES AS IT PLEASES...MY ADOLESCENT MIND TAKES FULL CONTROL WHEN IT WANTS TO AND CHAOS RULES THE OUTER BODY...AM I THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL????NOPE...I'M NOT EVIL I JUST GET FED UP AND PISSED OFF WHEN I SHOULD BE ASKING GOD FOR GUIDANCE.
THIS LIFE OF MINE IS GREAT TO A CERTAIN POINT...ONCE I SWITCH JOBS I THINK ILL BE ABLE TO PROGRESS MORE...MY MIND IS SCREWED RIGHT NOW BECAUSE OF 2 REASONS AND ONE OF THOSE IS MY JOB AND THE OTHER IS MY LOVE LIFE...AND BOTH OF THOSE FALL UNDER THE CATEGORY OF *FUCKING SUCKS*
IM NOT RUSHING ANYTHING BUT I SURE DO WISH IT WOULD HURRY UP...LMAO
I'VE BEEN WRITING SOME NEW SONGS AND JUST BEEN TRYING TO KEEP A POSITIVE LOOK OUT BUT THIS FORM OF DEPRESSION IS EATING AT MY SOUL AND THIS SHIT ACTUALLY HURTS...
I WAS THINKING OF MOVING BACK TO BOSTON JUST TO START OVER AND EVEN THOUGH IT WOULD HELP, I DONT WANT TO...I WANNA MAKE IT WORK WHERE IM AT AND NOT RETURN HOME A FAILURE BY WHOEVER STANDARDS INCLUDING MINE...WHEN I WAS TALKING TO MY DAD HE TOLD ME TO DROP EVERYTHING AND COME HOME, I REPEAT, COME HOME....
WHO THE HELL WANTS TO GO BACK HOME LIVING WITH THEIR PARENTS LIKE THE ENTERTAINER FROM "I LOVE MONEY" AFTER I HAVENT BEEN LIVING WITH THEM FOR YEARS, PLUS THE FACT THAT THEIR MINISTERS...I WOULD BE IN CONSTANT DEBATE ABOUT EVERYTHING...LETS NOT MESS UP THIS FINALLY FIXED RELATIONSHIP WE GOT GOING WITH ME COMING HOME AND NOT BEING WHAT THEY EXPECT...
EXPECTATIONS FROM OTHERS ARE OF NO CONCERN TO ME...I HOPE PEOPLE DONT THINK I NEED TO PROVE MYSELF TO THEM WHICH I DONT AND NEVER WILL...
MY PURPOSE IS HIGH AND MIGHTY AND ALL THE FOLLY OF THE WORLD COULDNT KEEP ME FROM SUCCEEDING...POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS IS A HABIT ONE GREAT HABIT I POSSESS AND IM NOT GIVING UP...I SPEAK CHANGE IN MY LIFE...THAT CHANGE TO THE HIGHER NEXT LEVEL OF PROSPERITY...
~CIAO.BLESS~
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