Cars and Porn will ruin your life!

Laugh a little, I dont mind!
Ill be quick with this one!


I got my car fixed (yay me!) Went to spend the night at a friends house, hanging and shit. Around 11pm my car alarm starts going off, so the voice in my head is like "wtf somebody trying to steal the Mercedes?!" (yes i drive a neon). Anyways, I go outside and nothing suspect is going on so I turn it off. Here's the thing about this alarm i don't even have a remote to boopboop it to shut it off. So when ever it comes time to shut it off i have to physically walk to where ever my car is and put the key in the door(stooooo-ped right?). The alarm stops, I go back in the apartment, and this bitch goes off again like 20 minutes later and every 20 minutes after every damn 20 minutes. I sober up and get smart like "dude read the manual on how to deactivate it". Now I'm outside reading in the dark cause my inside lights don't work, typical (evidently i didn't sober up enough). I figure it out and it basically said I have to physically go around and lock each door or just leave my car unlocked. What the hell type of options is that? *wack* I go around and lock them and go inside. Now everyones high and going to sleep and 40 minutes pass and no alarm going off I'm like "word I did it".

I found a movie on HBO and I fell asleep with the remote in my hand. I don't know how much longer later my friend comes out her room like "Donkey?!" (that's what she calls me, its a long story) immediately when i heard her voice i heard the alarm going off too, so I knew she was waking me up about that. I open my eyes and low and behold theres full blow porn on the TV 2 chicks and a dude getting it on. Now the sound from the TV being semi loud is kicking in my senses and I'm like "I swear to God I'm not watching this!!!" as i frantically try to change the channel and turn the volume down. I go outside to my car cussing up a storm again, because I know her neighbors are tired of this shit too. I just leave the doors unlock. I go inside and TURN THE TV OFF actually I ain't gonna lie I did go back n peep but it was wack and a weird feeling like "really are u about to watch this?" (I'm retarded)I shut it off and go to bed. The next morning my friend totally calls me out on the porn shit she said, "you were like the little kid who got caught jacking off to some porn, you know u was watching that shit, don't lie!" I started laughing my ass off and had to explain the situation properly to her husband cause he was like "whaaaaat Donkey was watching porn?". We were probably laughing for like 20 minutes, straight cracking jokes. And then my alarm goes off, and I yelled out SON OF A BITCH!

I hope you enjoyed this little piece of my life ;) feel free to laugh your ass off!

P.S. The car alarm still goes off ;-/


~ciao.bless~